THE CHURCH OF EDDIE HOBBS
We’re like putty in his hands. The saviour like arrival of Eddie Hobbs couldn’t come at a better time. Despite the Celtic Tiger you can’t buy a house bigger than a cardboard box unless you’re in the top tax bracket, petrol prices are soaring and our roads and health systems are a joke. As a result Eddie is preaching to the converted – the converted just didn’t know where to pray until now.

With his current cult like status would any of the live music venues in town be interested in booking Eddie for a show? Could he support maybe the Frank and Walters or the Sultans of Ping at the Opera House? Could he bring out a single and be the Christmas number one? Should he start his own church?

Play our Republic Rip-Off Game and help Eddie save you some cash

CLEAN COMEDY
The likes of Tommy Tiernan better watch out. The days when your old pair went to see the likes of less foul mouthed comedians like Brendan Grace mightn’t be over yet as comedy without the bold words is back and it’s got a political twist. With Eddie’s success and television stations’ willingness to remould any format that works we might see a whole load of sharp witted Corkonians taking over RTE.

Don’t dismiss rumours about Neil Tobín or Cha and Miah making a TV comeback when you hear them. Programmes about pot holes, local authority inefficiency, brown envelopes and traffic jams will be cannon fodder for these sharp witted Corkonians with a built-in distaste for anything Dublin’s government has sent our way.

WHY HOBBS WORKS
Cynical newspaper journalists have to knock Eddie because he communicates his message with simple language. He makes the ordinary punter laugh and sticks it up to the government at the same time.

To most however Hobbs is witty, clever and most importantly holds the attention of the average feen panned out on a couch on a Monday night still dopey from a weekend gallivanting. His sarcastic wit and typically Irish sense of humour as he mockingly repeats hypocritical sound bytes from various politicians and business people - much to the pleasure of his audience.

Previously those battling for consumers have lost our attention by overloading on statistics, diplomatic language and ultimately have had boring personalities. As a result we haven’t been made aware, until now, of some of the ludicrous stealth taxes being imposed on us. Hobbs, although at times over patronising, delivers his script in a way that has his audience imagining the red faces of ministers sitting at home watching him mock their performance in Government. What more could you want on a moody Monday?

DISTORTED FACTS?
Are a few of Eddie’s facts slightly distorted to hold our attention? Fianna Fáil backbenchers (some of the same people who told us the smoking ban wouldn’t work) think so but who cares?! The Dublin government are experts when it comes to fact twisting anyway so who the hell are they to lecture our Rebel on “possible inaccuracies”?

The startling admission by Seamus Brennan in a clip on Rip-Off Republic that the original estimate of €270 million for Dirty Old Town’s LUAS was simply “plucked out of thin air” is a fine example of how the Dublin Government not only warps the facts but completely makes them up – 23 kms of track has ended up costing just under €800 million.

We are constantly being told by the government, particularly the vice-prime minister Mary Harney that we live in a low tax economy. Maybe we pay a bit less than some countries but the langers are hitting you hard with hidden stealth taxes everywhere from VAT to VRT and stamp duty that it makes the rest of the EU seem like a free ride. Eddie save us!

Rebel Eddie: next Taoiseach? Favours Corkonian independence too...

THE EDDIE HOBBS PARTY
If Eddie Hobbs started a political party tomorrow morning half of Ireland would join it. His sweet Cork tones oozing common sense and brutal home truths would win over any tax payer anywhere. He’d probably even give the DUP a good run for their money in East Belfast.

Eddie’s humorous straight talking persona makes Brian Cowen or Martin Cullen seem like they’re speaking another language. Hobbs spares us the PR modified bullshit we are fed by the Government. Public relations companies assume the public are stupid and will swallow anything. In reality it just makes us more cynical.

When government departments or local authorities employ PR companies to issue statements on their behalf or distract us from cock-ups and failings they lose the respect of those financing them - us. After watching Rip-Off Republic one couldn’t imagine Eddie Hobbs farting about with millions of Cork tax payers money – he knows we’d eat him alive if he did!

BUT EDDIE WE HAVE TO PAY TAX LIKE!
We can’t speak for the rest of Ireland but we Corkonians certainly aren’t stupid. We know we have to pay tax to run the civil service, health service, build roads and all that stuff but when there is such obvious wastage of money it makes people very angry. Previously Corkonians didn’t know where to turn to vent their anger but in Comrade Hobbs we have found an outlet.

The laugh from Eddie’s audience on Monday night when transport Minister Martin Cullen’s mug appeared on the big screen said it all. Cullen has about as much credibility in government office as a Kerryman talking about hurling. If he was an inter-county football manager and he made a mistake equivalent to the €50 million e-voting shambles he would be sent immediately to manage St. Mohammad’s girls under- 9s in Beruit. Imagine if he got hold of the Department of Finance?! Perish the thought.

Like the War of Independence the mantle has fallen once again on Corkonians to provide resistance to the relentless oppression. Eddie Hobbs from Cork is talking sense, taking on the hawks in the Irish Government and winning. The Peoples Republic of Cork can only approve of such revolutionary tactics – maybe our children will wear his face on their t-shirts! Go on Eddie ya Rebel ya!


LAMP: http://www.eddiehobbs.com/

GARRY: http://www.peoplesrepublicofcork.com/images/articles/Hobbs

LIP: http://www.peoplesrepublicofcork.com/forums/Hobbs

E-mail: editor@peoplesrepublicofcork.com