100% say Yes to Togher

30th Oct 2002

It was no surprise that queues up to seven miles long were in place by the time the polling stations opened on Saturday morning all over the county to begin voting on the crucial Togher Treaty referendum which would see Cork take another step closer to independence.  

Some old dolls casting their vote in Kinsale on Saturday There were concerns from a number of high profile journalists about the manner in which the referendum was conducted. A number of independent referendum observers who arrived in Cork to oversee proceedings were found to have connections with The People's Republic of Cork including membership of the PRC message board something which will no doubt draw the attention of the UN secretary general Kofi Annan this week when he receives a report on the weekend's happenings.

Furthermore all reports that a close relative of well established Yes campaigner Smokey Looney was among the observers have been strongly denied by the Looney family. In a prepared statement read to the press by a member of his legal team Smokey declared "Don't be lookin' at me at all, I did nothin' and if ye think I did I'll take ye all on." . Clearly an innocent man and any attempts to whirlwind another controversy would be met with Operation Infinite Justice - Smokey Style.

The 'Yes' campaign were delighted with the outcome of the referendum. Celebrations were under way in Bantry and Buttevant after early signs showed a clear victory for the architects of the treaty. Later in the evening pubs and clubs were jammed with celebrating Corkonians relishing gallons of free drink laid on by pro-Togher barmen as the sound of "The Banks" filled the cold night air.
 

A DJ had set up a sound system on Daunt Square playing drum 'n' bass, rock, house and classical remixes of The Boys of Fair Hill where hundreds of revellers gathered. "I can't believe we got away with it" said one clearly delighted young campaigner throwing his top off and dancing outside Queen's Old Castle as he was being rubbed down with vics by a fellow republican.

Bin Murphy now equals Saddam Hussein's achievement with the referendum result but it is unclear what the response of the UN will be this time. In an emotional speech from his hide-out in deepest Cork, Bin Murphy acknowledged that UN intervention was not unlikely now.
 
The young, the old and the in betweens all canvassing for a Yes vote.

   
Asked why 'No' campaigners felt hard done by with the result Bin Murphy would not concede that a printing error with the ballot paper may have confused some voting Corkonians. "We were testing a new style of ballot paper but its a non-issue ", said Murphy ," its missing the point sure why would you want to vote 'No' anyway? ". Asked if he was concerned that the issue may result in the deployment of UN officials to the Cork area, "If they want to send in weapon's inspectors let them ", he said , "I'll show 'em my one but they'll have to run it by the old doll first...Whahowww!"