€3.6 billion Balls Up Blamed on Busy At Maths

2nd Nov 2011

The Department of Finance in Dublin has admitted to a colossal mistake which means Ireland’s debt is now €3.6 billion less than previously thought. A simple accounting error is apparently to blame.

A department of finance official at the launch of a technology deal between the government and Smiths Toys on Maylor Street.

In a suggested cost cutting exercise it has now been announced that all junior cert maths students will be issued with Ireland’s national accounts to perform checks for Department of Finance officials who are struggling with addition and subtraction.

Complex mathematical operations such as these are said to be at the root of the colossal mess that the department made of the nation’s accounts in what is officially being called “double counting” – a term invented by spin doctors which just means counting something twice like a total langball.  

Clearly to blame for the €3.6 billion error

Privately many in the Department of Finance blame a single individual with no connection to the Department for the €3.6 billion balls-up.

Pointing the finger at Wyn Bryan, the creator of primary school tome ‘Busy At Maths 1’, should have used more colour co-ordinated objects on the page about counting rather than the confusing monotone colours.

The Department will have to refresh their staff with more intelligent recruits. These lads below in Fota are sick of being on a Fás scheme anyway.

“We was be hard to be doing the countin’ wit the black balls an’ all wha.”, said one official in Dublin.

The government must now consider what action to take over the massive mistake. A purchasing officer is currently in negotiation with Fota Wildlife Park as a number of recent graduates from Monkey Island are said to be interested.