Blonde One Direction Member Confiscated by HSE

29th Oct 2013

The blond Irish young fella in the One Direction has been taken into the care of the HSE and An Garda Siochána after it emerged that he may not be genetically identical to the other four members of the band.

The young band who now account for 94% of all internet traffic, 80% of Britain’s GDP and 65% of female orgasms are said to be “devastated” by events that culminated with a stand-off at Dublin Airport when the blond member of the band was confiscated by police.
 

Blond kid on the left has been taken into the care of the HSE. This picture clearly shows why authorities are suspicious he may not be a genetic clone of the other four.

“We began to get suspicious while performing a cavity search on the band”, said Detective Inspector Liam O Bowelántaigh, “it was clear to us that the blond one looked different to the other four clones and we confiscated him from the band until we receive results of DNA tests”.

An anonymous tip-off from a Jedward fan led to the invasive cavity search at the airport but rumours have been circling for months that the artist known as "Niall Horan" is in fact a genetic clone of the Irish twins who were manufactured at  Sellafield Nuclear Power Station in 2008.

Some music journalists also note that Jedward and Niall Horan have never been seen together raising further suspicion.