Barry Ejected From 11 O'Clock Mass

14th Apr 2014

Self-confessed mentalist Keith Barry went pretty mental on Facebook last week having slammed Cork’s Neil Prendeville for not allowing him on his show having travelled ALL THE WAY FROM DUBLIN.

For most jackeens leaving Dublin is seen as a major sacrifice that should be acknowledged by culchies but many Corkonians believe that Mr. P has shown everyone his tremendous balls by standing up to the virtual Dub’s apparent arrogance.

In a new revelation, PROC has discovered that Keith Barry is also understood to have been ejected from 11 O’Clock mass at St. Mary’s on Pope’s Quay last Sunday by altar boys as he attempted to join Fr. Kevin ’25 minutes’ Brennan at the pulpit to promote his new show at the Everyman.
 

St. Mary's on Pope's Quay

“I am outraged”, said Mr. Barry, “I had driven ALL THE WAY FROM DUBLIN and the priest just refused to let me take over the homily.”

It is understood that the Deise dynamo then attempted to commandeer a communion chalice and promote his show to mass goers individually as they received ‘the host’.

“I had a wonderful trick lined up to entertain the audience but, outrageously, I was refused the chalice”, said Mr. Barry, “I was going to turn the wafer into the actual body of Jesus but I was refused access to the audience. I mean…I came ALL THE WAY FROM DUBLIN”

The outraged performer then left the church in a huff and went to the Bridewell Garda Station to attempt to have charges brought against those who refused to let him promote his upcoming show.

“Anyone who drives down from Dublin to Cork with very little sleep should be given full attention by Cork people”, the magician continued, “I’m not standing for this.”

Last autumn during a promotional run of his tour in Cork, Barry was also allegedly barred from Pairc Úi Chaoimh during the senior and intermediate county finals having tried to join Midleton players during the presentation of the Seán Óg Murphy cup to club captain Padraig O’Shea.
 

Keith Barry at the presentation of the Seán Óg Murphy Cup to Midleton's Padraig O'Shea. He came all the way down from Dublin.

The magician was said to be angry about comments on the internet that ace forward Conor Lehane had performed seemingly impossible feats during the championship and that he wished to stake a claim against the Midleton forward becoming the country’s number one magician.

“Ah here, I’m the only one who does real magic”, shouted Barry as he was hauled away by masked men in paramilitary uniforms bearing Cork GAA insignia, ”how dare you do this to me! I’ve come ALL THE WAY FROM DUBLIN!!”.