Charity Reps on the Street!

26th Nov 2004

Make Cork the Soundest Place on Earth!

Did it surprise you that Ireland was described as the best place to live in Europe? The number crunchers at The Economist magazine found that Ireland fared as one of the most pleasant places to live in the world. It hardly surprised us Corkonians - we always knew we were living only one door down from Heaven.

Though we might complain about soaring petrol prices, the ludicrous cost of owning your own home and the referee's decision to give Bohemians a penalty last Friday night at the Cross we have far less than most countries and counties to complain about.

Annoying but necessary: Some charity old doll pleads with uncomfortable Corkonians.

For the first time in its turbulent history people actually WANT to come to this country. The cities of the U.S. and Britain are no longer as appealing as they used to be. No longer trumpeting streets paved with gold (Irish paving contractors saw to that in the eighties) the days of the neo-Dagenham Yank and the Boston Bollocks are numbered.

The high flying college graduate who landed herself a job at some financial institution in London finds herself with a net profit equivalent to some feen pushing trolleys in Dunnes at the end of the year.

Now with rumours abound that Cork generates almost 40% of the wealth in the Irish economy yet receives barely a quarter of it back from the Dublin Government - in return the knives will surely be out for Bertie's Boys the next time ballot papers are counted on Leeside.

According to The Economist magazine (read by posh feens) Ireland is the best place in the world to live - then we in the People's Republic of Cork will humbly narrow down that statistic even further for the benefit of the magazine's readers. Using a combination of The Economist's conclusions and your own knowledge of this country one can easily deduce that Cork is now the place to live on Earth.

With all these fantastic statistics flying around and the imminent crowning of Cork as European Capital of Culture exiles abroad must be surely be thinking about returning home double quick. With all this focus on Cork lets not forget about those who aren't so fortunate to be blessed with either Corkonian heritage or those who are blessed but don't even have a gaf'