Cork Offically the Warmest County

6th Jan 2010

Cork Offically The Warmest County

It might feel cold but Cork's reputation as Ireland's balmiest county got another boost as it was declared the warmest and sunniest of the thirty-two counties last week - readers should note that the data used by Met Éireann was for what we might call 'mainland Cork' only and did not include any biased data from the Cork enclave of Santa Ponsa in the Mediterranean.

Roches Point: warmest place in the 32 counties.

The highest temperature in Ireland was recorded at Roches Point automatic lighthouse at the mouth of Cork Harbour last week: a whopping plus 9 degrees Celsius. Hard to believe with such gleeful reporting of climate terror around the country where every second word in television and radio reports about the weather is either 'treacherous' or 'atrocious'.

The land north of Cork's balmy borders, that is constantly broadcast into homes on Leeside television sets, has become an even colder uninhabitable land than usual. A place where locals revel in the prospect of more miserably cold conditions super-sizing their recessionary woes so they can get on Joe Duffy.

While they wait on hold for Liveline, many countries in Central Europe are being blitzed by far lower winter temperatures yet life appears to function as normal there. They love a good moan up the country, don't they?

The Sunny South
Another meteorological triumph for the Rebel County was Cork Airport's success in attracting the highest amount of sunshine with 7.3 hours of it last Friday alone, thoroughly rubbishing notions that the much maligned "Sunny South-East" is the sunshine capital of the island.

This myth has been pedalled by yellow-bellied strawberry sellers and Bord Fáilte propaganda for years when in fact the only respite from Wexford's awfulness is the port in Rosslare where one can take a ferry to Europe.

We're never quite sure if the geographically vague tag of "sunny south-east" is supposed to include Waterford. Even if the Deise was baking in year-round sunshine the dilapidated county would be as attractive to tourists as a trip to downtown Mogadishu with a free boat ride around the Horn of Africa during hijack season.

A hotel car park in Tyrone.

On top of Cork's soaring reputation among tourists worldwide after our recent Lonely Planet triumph as one of the world's top ten cities this welcome warmer weather will be a nice addition to the splendour, charm and friendliness of the city. So when you look at the weather reports from up north you have full permission as a Corkonian to feel incredible smug - like a highly paid civil servant fat cat who's pay cut is far less severe than those in inferior positions.

Blanket Defence
Tyrone was the county that recorded the lowest temperature over Christmas. After their trouncing by Cork's footballers in the All-Ireland semi-final a few months back one would have thought things couldn't get any bleaker in Enniskillen but this time the notion of a 'blanket defence' will take on a whole new meaning as the north wraps up and feels sorry for itself.

You might think the coldest recorded temperature in said county was in minus double figures but the lowest the thermometers sank to was just minus 7.3 degrees in Castlederg. In the middle of the night. This is an average daytime temperature in Berlin in mid-winter.

Cold War
Although you'd want to be touching wood while saying this out loud it looks like Cork hurling and football fans won't have to march on the streets this winter.

Nobody would dare say all is rosy and cosy in Cork GAA but after two years of winter strife it looks as if things have at least stabilised - sniffling and shivering around town with placards denouncing the latest action of the County Board in the these temperatures isn't a very attractive thought.

Get the smallies out training on beaches like Red Strand near Clonakilty. Double on it girl!

While there's no official on-field action taking place that doesn't mean you have to sit on the couch and grow a belly.

A 'puck around' on one of Cork's premier blue flag strands like Inchadoney at this time of year is highly recommended especially for Junior F standard hurlers like ourselves as the chances of splitting a child's head open with a skewed shot are dramatically reduced with such wide open spaces free of humans.

This is also a timely opportunity to toughen up the cold white claws after any 'softy' things you might have been up to over Christmas like playing board games, doing the washing-up and pulling crackers.

Catching a fast moving object that feels more like a block of ice than a sliothar will redden up those palms pretty quickly after their rest over Christmas. The biting pain can be blocked out by the thought that the predominant colours on your catching hand are just mimicking the Cork flag and, as any coach worth his salt will tell you, it's far less painful if you don't spill the ball. So don't.

The cold spell will last a little bit longer but Corkonians, barely recovered from the floods, have stood up to anything Mother Nature has thrown their way so far with typical rebel boisterousness.

Within no time the smug thermometer at Roches Point will be catching up with those in Santa Ponsa and we'll all be out wearing our red and white sunburn.