Cork UFO Viral Video - Are the Aliens Already Among Us?

20th Nov 2018

Last week, a sharp eyed Douglas man, Donal Brady, was in Bishopstown and took a video of a mysterious bright object in the sky over head which went viral online. Media interest in the video exploded as there seems to be no rational, logical explanation other than it being a spacecraft full of aliens.

The naysayers with their boring theories were quick off the mark. Some say it was the sun catching  the international space station as it passed overhead, others say it was likely to have just been a Nemo Rangers drone spying on The Barr’s training ground.
 

Stop this reasoning right now as there is only one possible theory left when you look at this with your Rebel tinted glasses on: they were checking Cork out. And sure why wouldn’t they be?

Let’s all calm down a bit, put the zoggabongs to one side for a moment and flesh this one out.

Say you’re running the space exploration programme on a planet in another solar system that is a filthy, crime ridden, overcrowded dump with exorbitant rents populated by citizens whose skin is green from eating chips.

Pick a random name for our planet - call it “Dub”. Your objective would clearly be to escape Dub so it would make sense to travel across galaxies all the way to Cork to see an example of a perfect world. This is why they were hovering over Cork’s suburbs  – observing life in the Rebel county and trying to work out a way to land here and integrate without being noticed.

A name makes a difference too. When cruising around the universe observing various societies on different planets it’s almost impossible to know what those societies call themselves.
 

Yeah, definitely a "water tower"....man.

It would have been easy enough for the aliens to work out who we are though with all the “We Are Cork” signage that has gone up around the city and county in the last few months.

To be fair to those who came up with that branding, it does sound like it is informing aliens as well as tourists who we are.

Those complaining that the councils spent too much on the “We Are Cork” campaign will be quiet boys when the aliens land and give us all their science technology secrets in exchange for some delicious Tanora or teaching them how to hurl.

We certainly don’t want extra-terrestrial beings to get us mixed up with anyone else. Had they positioned themselves another 60 miles to the west they would have seen the uncivilised madness of Kerry, assumed the entire planet was as bad as the Kingdom and decided to turn on their giant plasma lasers and put us all out of our misery. Thankfully they didn’t.  

It wouldn’t be the first time aliens have taken a serious interest in Cork. The evidence of their arrival is all around us but the cover ups have made us think that the strange goings have simple, rational explanations like Donal Brady’s UFO sighting.

Have you ever looked closely at the spaceship-like shape of the so-called water reservoir in Knocknaheeny? Oh, you’ve never been to Knocka but someone told you that it’s where the council store our water? That’s what the government want you to think, man. They’re hiding the truth from us, man. That “water tower” is full of secrets! Man!  

And have you ever wondered why when you drive north to find “Newtownshandrum” it doesn’t actually exist? Isn’t it strange that when you go to play a home game against them the match always gets moved to Charleville at the last minute?

And why is “Newtownshandrum” hero Ben O’Connor coaching Charleville’s senior hurlers? And how could one “human” called Peter O’Mahony have single-handedly defeated the All-Blacks last weekend and why do members of Skibbereen Rowing Club seem to be stronger than anyone else in the world?

This is weird, weird stuff that has no credible explanation other than providing us with clear evidence that aliens, with their superpowers, are here already. They live among us so “they” are “we”. You may even be part alien yourself and that’s why we feel different, more civilised and superior. Sure, that’s what all those signs are about:

We are Cork.