Cork V Waterford Replay

28th Jul 2010

Rumours in several Cork pubs towards the end of last Sunday's World Cup final were that if Spain and Holland ended in a draw in Johannesburg the replay would be the curtain raiser at Thurles next Saturday night.

You can just imagine it. Fellas arriving in late to the Town End nudging the Rebel next to them with the common big match ice breaker 'sorry there biy, j'know who won the minor game?'

'Erra, the Spanish crowd won it, I think. Poor enough game. Dutch were fierce dirty altogether.'

Kelly takes the dubious free.

The 'foreign game' final didn't light up until the fireworks were launched behind Iker Casillas as he held FIFA's answer to Sam Maguire aloft. The entertainment value of what is supposedly the biggest sporting occasion on earth was pitiful in comparison to the drama served up in Semple Stadium a few hours earlier when Cork drew with Waterford 2-15 a piece.

The usual anti-Cork bias saw a late free awarded to Waterford - allegedly because Brian Murphy sneezed as the ball whizzed past him. The usual.

It just so happened that a very dubious free was awarded to Waterford in the 2007 All-Ireland quarter final in very similar injury time circumstances when Donal Óg had two balls smashed at him in the dying seconds. While recovering from the impact of a double point blank save Cusack fell on the ball while Waterford's Paul Flynn stood over him blocking the Cloyne man from rising. Free in. Typical.

That time Kelly stuck over a point to have the game replayed and the Deise beat Cork in the replay. Was it that much of a surprise that the ref blew again last Sunday in the hope of the match ending in a replay?

The economy is in the hard shoulder and the Aviva Stadium is about to siphon off lucrative rugby and soccer revenue that have bigwig administrators at Croke Park using 100 euro notes for postits and toilet paper over the last few years.

The GAA's accountants will have greeted Sunday's mysterious toot of the referee's whistle with the all-knowing cute-hoor nod and wink. Job done. Féar plé duit.

Louth bainisteoir saying something indiscernable in the Louth dialect

Louth were the victims of a similar injustice when a Meath forward carried the ball over the goal line in the dying seconds of the Leinster final but there was no way Cork fans at Semple would have transformed into the vicious animals that invaded Croke Park and assaulted the misfortunate referee. They were far more than just an embarrassment to the Wee county and we'll deal with that in a moment.

The entire island seems to want the Leinster Final to be replayed but many people's judgements are being coloured by the fact that this was Louth's once-in-a-lifetime chance to win the title and a victory as underdogs would have produced a lovely fairytale - just in time to organise the 'Small County, Big Ambitions' DVD box set for Christmas. How cute.

Sport is far more cruel than that and as Cork fans we are well used to inexplicable refereeing decisions that cost dedicated players dearly. Fairytales don't appear out of thin air, you have to work hard to make sure they happen.

Should Louth be granted a replay because they've never won a Leinster title? Another equally valid way of putting that is, should Louth be treated differently to other teams who have been victims of ludicrous refereeing decisions because they've failed so often in the past?

Apply the Roy Keane post-Thierry Henry philosophy if you like. Roy would be more annoyed with Louth's defenders than the Meath player, Joe Sheridan, who cheated. Why didn't the Louth backs clear the ball?

The Louth full back had an opportunity to catch the ball when the first shot at goal was saved but he fumbled it and it fell into the Meath culprit's hands.

As for the thug who attacked the referee, that alone seems like a good reason that the Leinster Final shouldn't be replayed.

Louth scumbag elbows fleeing ref from behind

The hysteria around the injustice is almost laughable - no doubt wilfully stoked by the Dublin media desperate to endear themselves to the city's football fans who despise Meath. Getting a replay gives the impression that if you create enough of a song and dance, or even a mini post-match riot because of a bad refereeing decision you'll get what you want.

Unhappy with the ref at the end of the game? Then run on to the pitch and try to knock him out. People will say 'look how angry the fans are, you must order a replay'. That's called mob rule.

If justice is to prevail and a replay is granted then the Louth fans that brutally attacked the referee should be dealt with in a similarly irrational way. We suggest that all the Louth fans who interfered, intimidated or tried to bottle the referee should be paraded in front of a full capacity Croke Park joined together by heavy ankle and wrist chains.

As the national anthem finishes they should be brought into the middle of the field and spanked by a selection of GAA referees and linesmen to wild cheers from the crowd.

A helicopter could then whisk them away via long dangling ropes to a filthy low tide area of Dublin Bay and deposit them there amongst the dead mullet and radioactive waste from Sellafield to be collected by their county men on their way home from Croker.

At the end of the day many people will say the show must go on and that both teams are still in the All-Ireland series but to be fair to Kerry, Limerick and our own darling boys, both Meath and Louth have inevitably gone as far as they're going to go. Either of these teams will be reduced to tears in the face of serious non-Leinster opposition.

Munster Final Replay: Cork V Waterford, Semple Stadium, Thurles Saturday 17th July 7pm.