County Board interested in Cuban Job

20th Feb 2008

County Board Interested in Cuban Job
Finbarr Barry

Fidel Castro has informed Cubans that he is to step down due to ill-health after 49 years in power. Doubts still remain over his successor with some mentioning the ailing leader's younger brother as one of several candidates.

PROC can exclusively reveal that the Cork County Board have been approached by a three-man Cuban committee regarding their interest in taking over from the half-century legacy of Mr. Castro.

Among the requirements of El Presidente is a resistance to press interviews or public statements, ruling county board PRO Bob Ryan out of the equation but very firmly hinting that the elusive County Secretary Mr. Frank Murphy could be just the man.

The next Cuban leader must take charge of a puppet government over which he must be able to bear a heavy, if not total, influence. This means making a speech before a vote is held to ensure at least a 99% vote in favour.

Already used to having all meetings recorded by video camera the Cork County Board have soared up the rankings with book makers tipping the 109 strong committee to grab the high profile dictatorship.

As with most African dictatorships a blind ignorance to the actual meaning of 'democracy' is also required. Should the Cuban state decide to engage with the international community, the new candidates should be well versed in public-relations and spin. All decisions made at government level are to be portrayed as 'democratic'.

Should the new Cuban County Board need to reverse a vote that they just asked parliament to back them 100% in, they should exert sufficient fear over assembly members to re-vote in favour of the new motion. Overwhelmingly.

The three man Cuban committee will report to their leader by the end of March after the Cork's players have secured several seats at the new assembly in Havana, eleven new sub-committees are set up, six unanimous votes are reversed and two new sets of Che Guevera t-shirts have been given to each member of the panel and County Board.

Job sharing has been suggested by one county board delegate. This proposal would involve Fidel himself taking over the running of Cork GAA affairs although its believed Fidel's policies are not sufficiently hard line to win over the majority of delegates.