DIY Dad Reckons He Can Build Event Centre Over A Couple of Weekends

21st Feb 2024

Weekend home improvement enthusiast Marty O’Brien from Pearse Road reckons he can build the city’s Event Centre himself over the course of a “couple of weekends, not a bodder”. 

The DIY hobbyist is always on the look out for jobs to do around the gaf on Saturdays but since having children is excitedly enthusiastic about finding little bits to work on outside the home especially in town close to his second favourite pub, The Oval.  

“I’ve been looking at that empty shit pit on South Main Street for eight years and I’m sick to my gusset hearing about it on Neil. If I had started tipping away at it myself a few years back I’d easily have the whole thing up by now”.

The 44 year-old says the building is straight forward and that he has built "far more complex structures".   

“Look, it’s basically a giant garden shed with some fancy cladding on it and a big sound system. I drink in Noels and there’d be a load of fellas there would give me a hand with the steel and I’ve even started on the woodwork for the stage (see pic above). All I need is for the ‘chief exec’ at home to let me off the leash every Saturday and I’d have the shaggin’ ting up in no time”.  

Ballyphehane Independence Party ‘local area representative’ (a nice way of describing an unelected curtain twitcher) Marky Finn, who also drinks in Noels, is to propose two motions to City Council via a long tirade on The Neil Prendeville Show. The first to allow Saturday DIY enthusiasts like Marty O’Brien to take over construction of the Event Centre and the second to award the long term operation of the Event Centre over to Noel himself, who he says “always runs a steady ship”.