Dublin: Its Just Not Working

23rd Aug 2010

Dublin: It's Just Not Working

The Pale's last-resort adoption of Northern Ireland's puke football defensive system finally caught up with them against Cork on Sunday. Yes, it prevents humiliations, the type Hill 16 have been forced to endure for many years. But the stark reality is that Dublin were piling sand bags on the trenches but the raging wrath of the Rebels was always going to burst through.

The most important victory for the rest of the island is that Hill 16 is now Dub-free for the rest of the summer. And by that we don't mean Jackeens wouldn't be welcome to watch the All-Ireland final.

Hill 16 as it should be: a mix of both fans

They would be, as long as they behave themselves of course, but unlike Sunday's game the historic terrace will welcome fans of any creed and colour and be a joyful friendly place for fans to watch the remaining games of this year's championship without the intimidating sectarian-esque chants of "the hill is for Dubs only".

The distasteful negative jeering and booing by Dublin's wannabe premiership fans particularly during free taking has tarnished that county's reputation, possibly irreversibly, unless the English-firm style behaviour is booted out by the ordinary decent Dublin fan.

Croke Park might be distastefully located in Dirty Aul Town but the stadium belongs to all GAA fans and those who identify themselves as Gaels. Hill 16 and its associations with the gallant but failed rebellion of 1916 are strong with the original stand said to contain rubble from buildings destroyed during the Easter rising.

The 1916 rebellion was a failure in part because it didn't get 'buy in' from the people of rest of the island. By assuming that the rest of the country would follow if Dublin led, the leaders of that movement made an unfortunate error. This state, now referred to as the 'Republic of Ireland', still relies on the same naïve premise when the evidence is that Dublin has failed the rest of the island repeatedly and has little or no credibility beyond the Red Cow Roundabout.

Before and After: Redrawing the Dublin county bounds like this may help by absorbing 'bad counties' into 'good ones' like Meath, Killdare and Wicklow.

If County Dublin was judged like a leaving cert student on subjects like politics, banking, government, hurling, football, education, waste and traffic management and worst of all social equality, it would be lucky to get enough points to do a short Fás course in CV writing at Tallaght's Square Shopping Centre on Tuesday nights.

Take Seánie Fitzpatrick, the former Anglo Irish boss for example. This is the Dubliner without a single honour in his leaving cert who has almost single handedly brought Ireland's economy to its knees forcing Corkonians to pay tax now that Dublin's financial and political brown envelopes have the state up to its bald patch in debt. Ivor Callelly, Bertie Ahern, Charlie Haughey, Liam Lawlor and Jedward. The list of chancers never ends.

Dublin's football style is following the negativity of its disillusioned fans and the GAA needs to either break up the county and attach parts of it to other Leinster counties or disband Dublin entirely as we suggested last week to restore some positivity.

This could work on a shared sovereignty basis with other British outposts like the Isle of Man. Alternatively a swap could take place where by Dublin is handed back to the British while Northern Ireland becomes part of a new state, led, one would have to assume, by the moral authority of this island, Cork.

In this new state a fresh identity and constitution rooted in honesty and integrity for the people of the island can be defined while Britain will have an ideal location to send stag and hen parties without the need for them to get confused by the euro.

Many Dubliners can be employed in foreign exchange bureaus on the city's borders as the sound of sterling rings in the tills of O'Connell and Talbot Street and the capital's protestations about having to deal with Irish culture like the Irish language, dance or music ('bogger pursuits' we're told) can end.

All land within the circumference of the M50 could be moved and attached to the Isle of Man bringing Jackeens back into their natural affiliation to serve under Prince Charles and Hello magazine.

Dublin are slapping themselves on the back for not getting pounded in this year's football championship (best not mention the hurling or the Meath game either) but in reality they've just been getting better at being negative by holing themselves up in a 13 man 'Fort Drumcondra' built from the viscous brittle bricks of puke football.

Dubs need to be reminded of something about the country they live in. The War of Independence was hard fought and hard won down here in Cork and we're happy to allow Dubs bask in that collective freedom.

The memories of that ferocious and very costly battle are encoded in Corkonian's DNA so it's no surprise that Cork is the most prolific sporting county - dominating any "Top 10 Sportsperson" by a country mile each time a census is taken.

We're not called "The Rebels" because a sports marketing company decided it would be a nice title. It comes from a history laden with pain and suffering but ultimately it led to victory against those who we rebelled against.

However, that war wasn't won by piling men behind large defensive walls or forts and occasionally darting out to 'Pick up a Paddy'. Victory was sealed by hard graft, clever tactics, coping with heavy casualties, learning about our faults from infighting and ultimately being positive about the future, driving on regardless of the hurdles placed in our way.

The Dubs booed when Roy Keane returned to play for the FAI after being sent home from Saipan and they booed Cork every step of the way in Sunday's victory. What this horrible drone from Hill 16 really says is that Dubs have no respect for you even if you are someone who riles against injustice.

Corkonians respect everyone. The silence for rugby place kickers that began at Musgrave Park in the eighties now epitomises the Munster game. The difference is we just know we're really good at most things and those two sentiments aren't mutually exclusive. Positive self-confidence and arrogance are two very different beasts.

Are we saying there aren't decent Dublin football fans? Of course not, but they are being outnumbered slowly but surely since 1995. Booing and hissing as a matter of course and other dispicable negative tactics like 'puke football' have no place in sport and until Dublin's bad boys learn some honesty, decency and most importantly respect for others they will find it difficult to break their chronic cycle of failure.

* parts of this article are more than welcome to take up more pages in The Evening Herald again without permission.