Dubs Re-Elect Brian Lenihan

27th Feb 2011

He made the biggest most ruinous financial decision ever as Minister of Finance but Dubliners desperate to see his work continue to bring about the reintroduction of the 1800 Act of Union have re-elected Fianna Fail’s Brian Linehan once again.

In a breathless piece of loyalty to the man who singlehandedly engineered the hanging of the Irish tax payer for decades by guaranteeing all monies deposited in sham banks like Anglo Irish (the secret is in the name), the constituents of West Britain rallied around the failed minister and helped to re-elect him.

Lenny reacts to questions about the mysterious bank bailout

Polls show that the reason for Fianna Fáil’s deceptively large demise in Dublin was that Fianna Fáil candidates were pretending that they believed their party had made mistakes.

Dubs, who favour British Isle unification were incensed that the “good work” done in preparing the country to re-assign Éire’s sovereignty to Queen Elizabeth was being tarnished and ditched many Fianna Fail candidates.

A Fianna Fáil source said that the party under-estimated the sense out outrage that Dubs would experience if their Fianna Fail candidates pretended that their actions since 1997, including the mysterious bank guarantee, was a mistake when the real goal of the Dubs is to engineer a pact with Buckingham Palace. 

Herself on a pre-election walkabout in West Dublin

Many Dubs wanted senior finance figures like Michael Fingleton and Seánie Fitzpatrick to run for the party instead of falsely apologetic figures like Conor Lenihan and Mary Hanafin.

By adding to the crippling bank debt of billions over the coming months it was hoped by many Dubliners that this would force Ireland to send its TDs to Westminister instead of Leinster House.

The overall general election result however is a major setback for Dublin’s aspirations for re-entry into the Commonwealth as it is unclear what type of soup a Labour/Fine Gael government will take. Labour is believed to favour cuppa soup while Fine Gael prefer Erin hot cup.