EU to move nuclear plants to Ireland

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EU to move nuclear plants to Ireland

15th Mar 2011

Angela Merkel and Nicholas Sarkozy are believed to be issuing fresh demands on new Taoiseach Enda Kenny to accept Europe's 195 nuclear power plants in exchange for a drop in Ireland’s interest rate.

All nuclear plants in the EU ‘mother and father countries’ will be transported by hiace to Ireland in exchange for a 1.0% reduction in the IMF/ECB loan. This will help to keep the majority of Europe’s population safer while under-sea cables will deliver the power from Ireland to the continent.

As a reward Ireland’s economic status will then be upgraded by the ECB from “crippled” to “knackered” which could see at least fourteen new jobs created by the end of 2012.

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A spokesman for Angela Merkel said:

“Vee feel that Ireland are being completely unreasonable in their refusal to increase corporation tax to a level that vill force much of its inward investment to the Fatherland. Ziss is totally unfair so vee are offering a compromise that the Irish will accept all our nuclear plants instead.”

It is believed that nervous mainland Europeans watching the potential nuclear disaster unfolding in Japan would now like Ireland to accept all responsibility for their toxic power supply systems as well as their toxic banking system.

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Fission Chips

A team from UCC is currently explaining ‘science’ to Enda Kenny who initially thought that Irish chippers specialising in fish would be replaced by small generators however reports suggest Enda’s understanding is now going well with the Mayo man synopsising the EU offer as “Shell to Sea times twenty billion.”.

Although progress is described as positive the concept Kenny is currently struggling with is understanding that, unlike the gas off the coast of Mayo, nuclear power is not free.

“He is confused about the idea that neutrons do not have a charge”, said a scientist.

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