False Alarm Summer

11th Apr 2003

False Alarm - Summer's Not Quite Here Yet

Many of you this week have been working through extraordinary quantities of toilet roll, tissue and sleeve ends in attempt to hold back the effects of last weekend's sunny weather on your bodies. Note here we use the term "sunny" and not "hot" or "warm". Last weekend was a false alarm, the fools-gold for Cork beach enthusiasts (accounting for the majority of the population surely) most whom have now sneezed and coughed their way through the week.

Well what has caused this sudden mass decrease in public health? Quite simply it is Mother Nature's April fool joke: that supposedly sunny weather. How many of you headed for a sunny spot around our county's beautiful coast line last Sunday? Judging by the AA Sky Patrol helicopter reports of chaos in coastal towns like Youghal, Kinsale, Garretstown, Myrtleville etc. it seems like half the county went to the beach….but it's the start of April.

By Sunday lunchtime most cars had been packed with beach picnics, cooler bags, sun tan lotion, rubber dinghies, swimming togs, buckets and spades. The talk between friends and family was of what sun cream factor should be worn, if enough liquid had been brought to prevent dehydration, if Myrtleville really is a Blue Flag beach (or is that just a pair of denim jeans on a clothes line by the cliffs) and whether sun stroke was a legitimate excuse for a day off work on Monday.

What should have been packed was in fact was more appropriate equipment: a gas stove, tinned soup, sea survival suits, woolly hats and for anyone who witnessed the dense mist that descended all along the Cork coastline late Sunday afternoon (not to mention the bellowing fog horns that rubbed in the fact that you had been caught out by mother nature's cruel joke) - a compass and emergency climbing equipment.

What is certainly admirable about the weekend is every Corkonian's tough resolve to carry through and follow through our expectations no matter the obstacle, never admitting defeat to the weather. This determination to proceed as planned is regardless of whether the weather changed to our dissatisfaction after we make plans. Our solid determination to challenge mother nature (while in vain of course) is a clear message to any other county (namely Limerick) thinking of a military incursion to be dog wide.

Despite the grey clouds and chilling April winds blowing in from the Atlantic fathers and mothers having been persistently pestered the entire weekend for a trip to the beach, marched their smallies from the warmth of their cars down to the strand: "You wanted the beach so no you're getting it boy!". All across the south coast families lay huddled in groups like arctic penguins. Unusually welcome groups of teenagers provided the only source of entertainment for children and parents alike. Each seventeen year old male, not-wanting to be outdone in bravery by their peers, togs off and either enters the ice cold water voluntarily or gets dragged in by their compassionate associates only to be carried off in ambulances a few minutes later with frostbite, pneumonia or in most cases to have sensitive areas of their bodies de-iced.

The harmony and good feeling of an outing to the beach can often be an opportunity to reinforce family bonds. For example fathers letting their smallies bury them in the sand is a favourite: kids get to interact and spend quality time with their parent while the parent can enjoy the heat of the sun, sip a cool drink and read the newspaper. While many fathers were willing to be buried in the sand last weekend it was unusual to see many of them being buried with all their clothes on. Out of desperation to stay warm any insulation no matter the inconvenience was welcome even if it meant setting aside two hours to rid the car of beach sand after returning home.

The EU awarded "Blue Flag" flying at a beach does not mean a beach is safe to swim in - it refers to the colour of your skin after spending ten minutes swimming there. Strangely this is considered positive by local residents who feel lucky to have got away lightly in comparison to some other Cork beaches. In the harbour area, for example, those such as Luc Strand and White Bay Beach have been awarded bright luminous green flags by EU health officials. Local resident spin doctors claim the green signifies 'GO' (swimming here). However this is not the interpretation handed down by the EU. In an attempt to quell rivalry between Cork beaches PRC diplomats despatched from Central Command to the area were asked to try to comment positively on the water samples they found at the harbour beaches. Maybe those blue flag enthusiasts who have spent their week sneezing and coughing should consider their verdict: "Unusually Warm".