Fianna Fail: Election February 29th

24th Jan 2011

Fianna Fáil have declared that the General Election will be held on February 29th. The announcement came after severe pressure from the opposition and backbench chancers.

Backed into a corner and trying every conceivable route to avoid an early trip to the polls Fianna Fáil have pulled off one final stroke by setting the election for a day that only comes around every four years. Just not this year.

Let's see, eh February 29th?

"We wanted to go out in style so we said we'd pull an almighty stroke on the way down", said a government spokesman, "sure this isn't a leap year a'tall!".

The handful of Fianna Fáil grass roots supporters and property developers are delighted with the latest stroke as they believe on March 1st they will be the party with the highest number of votes due to the election date not actually existing. Brian Cowen will then be returned as Taoiseach until at least 2016.

Opposition leader Enda Kenny was unavailable for comment as he is only allowed to communicate via pre-recorded internet videos in case his brain freezes over. A spokesman said Kenny was currently having sound bites uploaded into his 500KB memory bank. To increase storage capacity all sound bites will begin with "This government….".
 

The Real Taoiseach?

Unconfirmed reports suggest Brefney Morgan from The Apprentice is to be employed by Fine Gael as Kenny's long lost son who he will tour the country with in the next few weeks.