Flirting With Fags

26th Mar 2004

SMOKING BAN
Danny Elbow

Once its not inside the building you're grand little fellah

Next Thursday sees the implementation of the smoking ban across the state and in the Republic Of Ireland. Much of the doom and gloom drummed up by the media and publicans seems to have subsided and everyone is a bit sick of the whole debate. At this stage we're quietly excited about what the reality is going to be like and next Monday we'll find out on who was right and who was wrong.

By the summer will we ask ourselves how we ever let smokers fill our public houses with their evil cancer ridden smoke or will there be smokers rioting on the streets in protest? Whatever way it turns out the publicans will justify a reason to shove up the price of gat but for those of you who are undecided about whether you're in favour or not allow the Peoples Republic of Cork make a few predictions..

FLIRTING WITH FAGS

This has got to be the number one attraction of the smoking ban for single smokers. Smokers have always had a slight advantage over non-smokers in that they can use the excuse of looking for lighter to start a conversation with someone attractive they've spotted in the bar. This method while occasionally successful is a bit too obvious for Corkonians though. We're not like Americans who tend to be far more liberal about asking each other out on dates point blank.

Particularly in Cork we have to pretend that we're not chatting each other up - just having a nice civil conversation with another individual until you run out of patience and "lob the gob"'