Galvins Latest Dust Up Explained

28th Jan 2010

Galvin's Latest Dust Up Explained

Newspapers around the country have reported that Kerry footballer and Irish teacher Paul Galvin hit a 15 year old pupil "on the face" with a duster after losing the rag in his school at St. Brendan's in Killarney.

However PROC can reveal that Galvin was only attempting to clean the child's face with the nearest available object.

Furthermore, the use of the phrase "on the face" instead of "in the face" to describe the contact may suggest some sort of unusual scientific phenomenon often associated with the county's inhabitants like Jackie Healy-Rae who exhibit strange auras around their bodies that shield them from things such as reality.

Kerry footballer and Irish teacher Paul Galvin with a pupil in Killarney

Although some distance away when realising that the child's face needed urgent scrubbing, Galvin directed the duster towards the unsuspecting pupil in a hurried attempt to wipe all excess particles from his face. And then it slipped out of his hand. And slightly quicker than was expected.

Having connected with the young fella's head Galvin dutifully followed standard procedure when he is involved in a dust up and immediately left the area in which the incident took place. Galvin has a long history of unfortunate incidents where he has to leave places unexpectedly early.

Similar to John O'Donoghue's silence before he resigned as Ceann Comhairle after "being done by the Dublin media" St. Brendans Secondary School are following their fellow countyman's lead by saying nothing other than communicating that a solicitor for the child's family will take the incident up with the school.

Healy-Rae's visible aura which smells of cow shit and shields him from certain realities

Galvin was sent off in Kerry's first match of the 2009 championship for knocking the referee's notepad out of his hand when being booked for a foul. Later it was established that the Kerry winger had been attempting to swat a nearby wasp which was loitering above the black book.

After he made his initial failed assault on the insect he can be seen puffing furiously in an attempt to shoo it away from danger. He then runs away as the wasp turns on the Kerry captain.

Later the player made a public apology on RTE which was beamed across the country in which the reporter asked him if he intended to continue playing with Kerry.

"Chalk it down Pascal", he solemnly replied. Surely a nod to the future.

Witness some of Paul's misfortunate mishaps here:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=raDBPABAN-8

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vnsdTdfIugk&NR=1

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zL-9lJY-_4U

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pblCbGulLXg