Heffernan Dissed By Dublin Suits

15th Aug 2012

After their heroic efforts in London, Cork’s Olympic super-couple Rob and Marian Heffernan were abandoned at Dublin Airport by “Team Ireland” officials as soon as they landed.

The thought of Rob, having narrowly missed out on bronze in the 50km walk, making his way into the murky filth of crime ridden Dublin city centre to try to catch a train or bus back to the People’s Republic is offensive to every Corkonian.

This outrageous behaviour teaches us that this is the way ‘The Dublin Suits’ react when Cork people go out to represent Ireland and pledge allegiance to the tricolour. The cheek of it.

Lamp the body on this feen beours.

 We’re used to it though – Saipan first, now this. What next? Bill O’Herlihy made to get the Aircoach back to Cork after his last day in RTE? Cork GAA stars at Croker made to hop on one leg as far as Mitchelstown? Crystal Swing expected to hucklebuck back to Lisgoold after another foxer abroad for a Fáilte Ireland desperately short of ideas?

Thankfully some sound individual with a few bob spare sent a cab for the Corkonian to collect him from his ‘Airport Abandonment Hell’. The Irish Olympic Council, or Dubs for short, need to be careful. This is the kind of offence that could trigger an intifada uprising here in the south.

And ye'll be walkin' home too lads

There are unconfirmed reports that a unit from the Free Togher Army are thinking of throwing some Tanora at the train to Dublin tomorrow morning from the bridge near the Glen Boxing club in Blackpool – the next thing you know there’ll be ‘government forces’ and tanks taking up positions in Doughcloyne.

As the rest of the country takes its lead from Cork most other counties will follow suit and Dublin will be but an isolated micro-state on the east coast devoid of oil, clean water and decent athletes.

Rob and his wife are to be treated as heroes in Cork despite the two-fingers issued by their well-healed so-called bosses up in Dublin.

It only takes about five hours and you can go for a slash an' all in Urlingford.

The pair have dedicated their lives to their sports at a time when young people need all the upstanding local role models they can get. Expanding waist lines, soaring diabetes and depression are serious issues in all communities and athletics and sports help reduce the risk of all three.

The couple, like all our other Olympians, should be issued with the utmost respect by every Corkonian and in Rob’s case that means offering up your seat for him on a crowded rush hour bus – afterall he may be on his way home from breaking some Irish or world record. 

Well done to Rob and Marian from all your Cork fans. We hope you'll be competiting for the PROC in Rio and not Ireland.