Higgs Bosun Theory Proved in Monkstown

20th Jan 2012

Now, we know what you’re thinking: the Higgs Boson will probably be found in Cork if enough people cleaned up their gafs. And you could be right, although it’s unlikely to be found under a four month old pizza box in a student flat on Barrack Street. It’s a bit more complicated than that.

A few 'amateur researchers’ from the lower harbour have sent a paper to the lads running the particle accelerator at CERN on the Franco-Swiss border claiming to have solved the mystery of the Higgs Bosun and its zero-mass.

The CERN particle accelerator in Switzerland recently produced an image of the Bosun pub in Monkstown along with a faint, but quite discernable, scent of chips

Apparently a Mr. Higson can be found every Sunday evening enjoying a Beamish at The Bosun pub in Monkstown. He is known locally by his school nickname ‘Higgs’.

As a Protestant, and Monkers has loads of them it’s an ideal place to carry out this kind of research, he does not attend the local Catholic Church and therefore has never been to or had any mass.

Therefore it is Higgs’ Bosun. On a Sunday evening at least.  

Q.E.D. 

The Bosun in Monkstown was also where The Prodigy main main Liam wrote 'Outer Space' . The official video was made at the top of Rushbrooke hill near Cobh overlooking the Bosun. The band still visit regularly disguised as vagabond sailors.