Kerry Annihilated in the Pairc

15th Jun 2009

Kerry Annihilated
Cork 1-17 Kerry 0-12
Alan Ger

Lynch: Gooch killer

Kerry footballers were beaten out the gate of Pairc Úi Chaoimh as Cork’s magnificent team left them for dead in the Munster semi-final clash on Saturday night. Blazing sun, perfect conditions and the beautiful annihilation of the single-code yellow bellies.

Despite Kerry’s initial lead of two points to no score Cork began plotting the Kingdom’s embarrassing defeat from the off soaring into a five point lead at the break despite raining in a number of wides and spurning some goal chances.

Few were surprised when the Boggies made a good start to the second half – but the sugar from the dressing room jelly beans only lasted for a few minutes as Cork edged away out of sight by the 16th minute of the second half after Daniel Goulding was physically assaulted by a Kerryman as he pounced on goal. The resulting penalty from Donnacha O'Connor left the Kerry goalkeeper flapping in desperation and ultimately set up Cork's victory. Kerry had little left to offer but fouling and panting.

Alan O'Connor had a stormer at midfield.

In the end the margin was so big that the 30,000 strong Cork crowd, lead by the packed Blackrock End cheered every time Cork made a successful pass – teasing and taunting their failing rivals with fast, smart and dynamic football: a welcome change from Kerry’s trademark pulling-and-dragging "puke football" that has marred Gaelic games (and arguably the brought the country into recession) for the last decade.

Where Kerry can turn to now is unknown. Loud repetitive clichés about it only being June seem to be all the Kingdom have to cling to as they go home to lick their wounds. Suggestions from the Kerry crowd were limited to either introducing even more pulling-and-dragging to frustrate better teams or combing the county to find another freak even taller than Kieran Donaghy. Good luck with that lads and enjoy the Discover Ireland trip for qualification.

For Cork, it’s on to the Munster Football final on July 5th at Pairc Úi Chaoimh to take on Limerick: a mouth watering chance to put the cocky Limerick men back in their rightful place after their recent near-miss when it took two very late Cork goals to put them away.

Yes, it is June. Yes, it is football. Yes, it is full.

After the whitewash of Kerry you can now get Cork at 3/1 to lift Sam Maguire at the bookies – what a way that would be to end the recession! If Cork’s big guns can stay fit it’s probably worth putting your entire savings down on the Rebels and making a contribution to the team’s welfare to ensure you win a fortune.

Seriously – just stalk any precision player like Anthony Lynch, John Miskella and Graham Canty around with a first aid kit, barrel of cotton wool and a pillow to make sure they are comfortable, safe and healthy at all times- and your return is practically guaranteed. We should mentioned that readers who follow Noel 'Red Card' O’Leary around do so at their own risk.