Longford Langers Leathered

5th Jul 2003

Cork City 4
Longford Town 1

Sometimes you wonder why useless teams turn up at Turner's Cross to play Cork City on a Friday evening. Even with diplomacy in affect its still fair to say Cork City made fools out of the Longford* Town team that turned up to play them last night. From the start this was going to be a Cork City win. All that was to debate was the margin and the scorers.

Goal!

Another Goal!

Playing into the St. Anne's End in the first half it was only 22 minutes before Billy Woods stuffed home his opener after a sizzling double one-two. A goal that made a mockery of Longford's vague aspirations for the title. In response to Billy's stunner and as if the Eircom League's top scorer John O'Flynn felt his tally of 10 goals was in danger. He not only put City 2-0 up just before the break but produced a goal that will no doubt be goal of the season. A powerful inch perfect chip from about 10 yards out right swished past the Longford defence with only the keeper to beat….but oh dear….flapping your hands like a wazzie in jam certainly won't win you much credibility in the Eircom league but against class opposition you just look plain stupid. Another sensational goal for Cork.

Longford resort to basics

This must surely be it...

Longford changed their game plan at half time: instead of being negative and piling 11 players behind the ball they just decided to be realistic and roved in traditional hunting packs. Longford players who were getting nowhere with Cork City's rock solid defence soon began looking for excuses to leave the field. Phillip Keogh was permitted an early exit from the embarrassment after randomly reigning abuse at the CCFC bench. Clearly the man needs either help for schizophrenia or a transfer back to his team mates in Bray Wanderers whom he helped relegate last season.

Needless to say with such naivety from the country boys there was another goal in the shape of a stunning free kick from Billy Woods that almost broke the back of the net in front of the Shed faithful. Shortly before the final whistle Kevin Doyle zipped past the clearly burned out Longford defence and stuck a beauty past the helpless wazzie in goal. Good aul St. John's Ambulance backed their vehicle up to the Longford Town dressing room and began to pump it full of oxygen to greet the wheezing players as they returnedto it, heads bowed, a few minutes later crushed by the Rebel Army.

No! One more for the encore!

Plenty room for the flags in the Longford end

The entire population of Longford Town came to Cork to support their men which must be admired. Hopefully the rest of them were warmly welcomed and had a good night out contributing generously to the local economy. Some of them were at the receiving end though as several Longford fans accepted invitations from UCC's Zoology Department to undergo experiments that night at the college. At least they got something from their trip to the Peoples Republic of Cork….Imagine if they got home and their gafs were robbed when they got back - that'd be really lousy.

Speaking of crime, Shamrock Rovers and their fans visit Turner's Cross next Friday (11th July). If you'd like to witness the next potential white wash then ball over as the turnout for Dublin teams is always fantastic so you should be in for a treat for a measly ten euros. While you're at it pick up a copy of the latest edition of FourFiveOne on your way in for a supplementary euro. For less than 80 old pence FourFiveOne is a mind bogglingly entertaining publication and makes a lot of professional publications look pathetic in comparison. Buy it from the friendly sellers outside the ground.