Miss Alternative Cork 2006 Alert

24th Feb 2006

Alternative Miss Cork
Danny Elbow

He would have never got away with this at Cork Con disco in 1995

If you're still reeling from the shock of Nemo Rangers defeat to St. Galls last Sunday or assessing the impact of 'the Rock' as a wing back against Offaly it is, for one reason or another, statistically unlikely that you are aware of a certain important competition in Cork this Sunday night.

This competition will find a Corkonian who will represent Cork at All Ireland level and that, regardless of discipline, immediately calls for the attention of your local Cork extremists to ensure standards are kept high on your behalf.

We thrive on being different in Cork and to say this event will be different is certainly an understatement as Cork's top queens gather on Sunday night to decide the title of "Miss Alternative Cork" in the Savoy Theatre.

"DOWN WITH THAT SORT OF THING"
These days it is possible to go to any cinema in Cork to watch an award winning movie in which a few queers get intimate on screen and not have to wade through protests outside the cinema.

The slightly frightening former Miss Alternative Cork winner Miss Fabula who keeps a diary on gaycork.com

Although for some us it may seem like centuries ago its not that long since a film like Broke Back Mountain or even Breakfast on Pluto would have provoked outrage and sent hoards of protestors wielding rosary beads, homophobic placards and copies of Vatican II scurrying to voice their opinions outside the pop corn embassies of Cork.

In the past they worried that exposure to anything even slightly camp would cause their children to catch 'gayness' but nowadays they'll sit contently laughing at the super camp antics of TV presenter Graham Norton and the on-screen cross dressing feats of one Cillian Murphy and proudly think 'sure he's wan of us!'.

REBELS EXPECT
Corkonians, generally oblivious to what traits ensure success in the Miss Alternative Ireland competition, will none the less expect that the standard of cross dressing and general campness in Cork is one that accurately reflects our premier position as a county.

The aforementioned super star actor Cillian Murphy recently set a new precedent for Cork feens who enjoy dressing up as old dolls, in the box office hit Breakfast On Pluto. Such was the handy work of the film's make up crew that "The Ballintemple Belle's" delicate features displayed on billboards all over town caught the fond-eye of many unsuspecting Cork males on their way to work (not us now like). Not bad for a straight feen.

Its widely believed that gayness arrived in Cork in 1996 in the bag of a visiting DJ from the UK where it quickly spread among Cork Scene Extremists

However rather than just simple gender deception Miss Alternative Cork will demand flamboyance and most importantly comedy value - something most Corkonians are blessed with and why we expect Cork's representative in Miss Alternative Ireland to go all the way.

Much will be demanded of Miss Alternative Cork as his/her future title includes the name of this great nation and certain standards will apply. Its not long since we were twinned with San Francisco after all.

GAY FRIENDS
During the late nineties when the first real 'mixed' club nights like M'