Neil Admits Drinking Guinness

8th Nov 2010

Prendeville Admits Drinking Guinness

Many PROC readers may have thought that last week's revelations regarding the over-sexiness of Aer Lingus's in-flight magazine were sensational but now Neil Prendeville has admitted something far more embarrassing in last weekend's Sunday newspapers:

He drinks Guinness.

Only recently Cork people's uncomfortableness with the Dublin stout was confirmed after a shocking Arthur's Day internet video in which two naked men performed mutual masturbation in front of a large rowdy crowd in Temple Bar.

Prendeville confesses his Guinness drinking to the Indo

Unbelievably, Neil Prendeville has revealed that before leaving Cork for London he drank a number of pints of Guinness in Cork Airport. What the hell was he thinking?

No scientific evidence is available that drinking Guinness is more likely to result in embarrassing incidents of public masturbation but the brew's strongholds include "collar-up" areas such as Foxrock and Castleknock - and even decent Dubs will tell you that those places are full of wankers.

In interviews with what seemed like most Sunday newspapers Prendeville said he went to Dublin last Wednesday to get away from the mounting media spotlight. Sounds about right - the fear of being 'door stepped' by hard nosed journos from The Douglas Weekly and Fingerpost would hinder anyone's recovery.

In what had all the sticky evidence of a very planned public relations strategy, Prendeville was portrayed as a sorrowful repenting character to be pitied (loving family man, clean career history, personal connection between journo and the subject, thoughts of suicide, appeals to God, sorrowful wide eyed photo etc) - clearly paving the way for the broadcaster's much anticipated cumback.

Remember this? (video content not suitable for work)

If a court case results from Prendeville's alleged public masturbation on board an Aer Lingus flight then the incident will be the second high profile public masturbation ancedotally linked to Guinness in a matter of weeks. Surely this is a possible defence Neil's high profile lawyer Gerald Kean will be intent on exploring if the charge makes it to court.

To date we are not aware of any qualitive peer-review research that might link Guinness and spontaneous public masturbation but if these incidents keep coming it may attract the interest of university teams.

Whether recommended by legal judgement or for pretentious PR purposes, Prendeville might be expected to be seen seeking treatment for any 'sexual misalignments' or 'substance abuse' he may have however, he could always just stop drinking Dublin stout and stick with locally produced sup.