Obama Urged to Press The Button And Be Done With It

10th Nov 2016

As most of the world poops its pants after the victory of Donald Trump in the U.S. presidential election many despairing onlookers around the world have been urging the outgoing White House administration to launch a global nuclear war as soon as possible so we can just be done with it.

Citing the absolute certainty that Donald Trump is going to cause an atomic war anyway people  believe Barrack Obama should mark his last day in the Oval Office by inputing the secret codes that send orders to his military commanders to launch the nation’s entire nuclear arsenal.

“I’d much rather have my face melted off by an Obama bomb than a Trump one”, said Donnelly Morrison, a New York Times reader and 'twitterazi metropreneur’, “I would hate my last thought to be that Trump got me and my liberal beliefs”.

Trump’s election is likely to see a new wave of northern European hippies moving to west Cork – the first wave in the 1970s descended on the Rebel county when it was advised that the area would be one of the safest if the world experienced a nuclear winter. 

The unexpected period of immigration resulted in an explosion of incense fuelled healing circles, demand for gluten free organic marmalade and clapped-out volkswagon camper vans with peace signs on them.

It also made it much easier to get a bit of smoke down west. So on that note: Dowtcha Trumpy, boy!