Rio Olympic Result: Cork 2 Not-Cork 1

22nd Aug 2016

Corkonians are celebrating this morning as the results of the 2016 Olympics show that Cork is twice as good as Dublin and way better than everywhere else in Not-Cork.

With two silver medallists to Dublin’s one the Rebel County has been declared the Official Olympic County of Ireland. This designation allows bragging rights over people from other counties for a full four years until the next Olympics in Tokyo.
 

Cork's O'Donovan brothers

At the closing ceremony in Rio de Janeiro last night one of Skibbereen’s rowing kings, Gary O’Donovan, led the Irish team around the track to huge applause.  

The Skibb feen and his brother, Paul, bagged the first of Ireland’s medals almost two weeks ago in the men’s lightweight sculls and have won the hearts of Olympic fans everywhere with their good natured honest interviews and their humility – a trait found in all Corkonians.
 

Our man Patrick in Rio letting the world know that Cork have beaten Dublin in Olympic medals at the 2016 games

Dublin’s only medal in these games was won by Annalise Murphy, a sailor from Dun Laoighre. With a surname like that we wouldn’t be surprised if her heritage is Cork anyway.

Until August 2020 Corkonians can now strut around like they’ve won a medal themselves – safe in the knowledge that the Rebel County’s reputation as the sporting capital of Ireland has been saved in 2016 by the O’Donovan’s.

If you have work colleagues from other counties, particularly ones that had GAA teams in the All-Ireland championship after July, we highly recommend bringing up the O’Donovan’s victory as often as you can and instead of saying it’s a great victory for Ireland tell them it’s fantastic for Cork.
 

Paddy from Monkstown keeps an eye on the cops in Rio

The only real say Ireland has in the charming Skibb lads’ victory is that the boys had to use the country’s Olympic council organisation to get to the games as Cork doesn’t have one.

With the Olympic Council of Ireland now officially in tatters - the allegations of illegal ticket touting have resulted in its president being imprisoned in a hellish prison in Rio – the time is perfect to propose a brand new “Olympic Council of Cork” so the next rowing victory in four years time would mean The Banks of My Own Lovely Lee will be played at the medal ceremonies in Tokyo. What a howl that would be!