Operation Bus Shelter

15th Sep 2007

Operation Bus Shelter
Comrade Danny Elbow

At midnight a crack squad of trained professionals from the PROC Propaganda Department (aka Langer Company) lay in wait in a darkened door way on Cook Street. Their mission: to cover Patrick Street's bus shelters in red and white bunting for the cluiche mór.

Suddenly the signal came from troop leader and Chief Propaganda Officer Finbarr Barry. The last bus had left. It was time.

Making the Blitzkrieg look like a stoned Meath footballer, Operation Bus Shelter exploded into action. In a matter of moments a blood and bandage attack was under way on three fronts. Boom! Boom! The first of nine bus shelters was already drenched in red and white. A cry rang out from Comrade Alan Ger as he dived over a pile of Abrakebabra wrappers:
" Éirigí a Reibiliúnaí!!"

Bang! Bang! The northern flank (de wan outside Porters) was covered and secured. Comrade Barry's VHF crackled again. Another:
"Sir, four out of nine now complete. Stand-by.."

A few old fellas discuss the red and white bunting. Lamp the other two bus shelters in the background.

Ratatatat! A roaring stella and her semi-conscious fella were brushed aside, their futile attempts to disrupt the assault a naïve risk to their own safety and the PROC's record of zero victims of friendly fire. Another shelter covered.

Suddenly a fat taxi man emerged from his workplace putting himself in the line of fire of pumped up troops from L Company.

"Heeeeuurrr! What are ye doing that for?!"
"For the match Sunday…Cork and Kerry? All Ireland final? Ring any bells?"

"Oh yeah but sure they won't last two seconds biys..ye're wasting ye're fuckin time.".
"Don't write us off fella!"

Despite the onslaught of Friday night zombies PROC's bunting was left intact.

Before the enemy had a chance to tie their boot laces and the fat taxi driver had his burger back in his mouth, Langer Company had vanished into thin air and Pana, was left basking in red and white in honour of the gallant Cork footballers.

As the dawn rose across the city a beam of red and white shone from one of end of Pana to the other. Despite clubbers pouring out of the Savoy, Mangans and other city centre ale houses we are elighted to report that interference by traitors was negligible.

Misson Complete.