PRC's Guide Driving to Dublin - part 1

8th Mar 2006

PRC's Guide to Driving to Dublin
Danny Elbow

Maglev: would get you from Hueston to Kent in 30 mintutes. The job.

In our recommendations for New Year's Resolutions for Corkonians we stated that Rebels should try to avoid Ireland's "official capital" as much as possible. Any Corkonian watching what Sky News described as the "warzone" on O'Connell Street last Saturday week will need no encouragement to keep themselves firmly inside the borders of the People's Republic lest they feel the wrath of Dublin's disenfranchised rock throwing track suited young gentlemen.

While the leadership of the future government of Cork understands that it is of course necessary for some Corkonians to work or travel to Dublin regularly, it is the obligation of every Rebel to plan to return to Leeside in the long-term. Any of your Cork brothers and sisters who live in Dublin should be harangued and interrogated regularly by family members and friends about their plans to eventually return home and settle in the promised land.

Every Sunday night thousands of Corkonians board trains not knowing whether the fortune they have paid for a ticket will get net them a seat or not. Trains set off full of Corkonians with bowed heads knowing that they are leaving paradise may not return for another month.

Flahbag Flattley in Fermoy: even local men have been walking around with stalks.

Other poor souls like students, minimum wage immigrants and asylum seekers board buses to save cash. Taking Bus Eireann's 6pm service or setting off on the Aircoach from Patrick's Quay at 7pm will save a Rebel a staggering '