Prince William Decides Against Midleton

26th Apr 2011

It’s traditional for brides to get married in the church where their family comes from so it’s disappointing to learn Kate ‘Midleton’ hasn’t laid down the law with her soon-to-be husband and in-laws at Buckingham Palace by getting married in her family’s spiritual hometown – the one in Cork that they take their name from.

When deciding on a location for the big day out it was always going to be a choice between Windsor or Midleton for the couple. However it is believed the Cork town had mixed feelings about a potential clash between hosting the royal wedding and its own highly popular drink and food festival. Of course the latter would obviously have to go ahead regardless and this might distract locals and visitors from the royal event nearby.
 

One can understand the concern about the lack of publicity if the wedding was held in the town. Magazine editors would find themselves in the peculiar position of being sent pictures of stalls of beautiful food and the insides of Midleton’s great pubs by distracted (and possibly quite drunk) photographers instead of snaps of the young married couple starring lovingly at each other.

Although the dates didn’t match in the end – the food festival is now in September – it is assumed by locals that nearby popular wedding reception locations like Ballymaloe House, The Midelton Park and Barna Brow were simply booked out so that’s why the couple have instead been disappointingly left with their second choice – London.
 

Their loss though. It would have been a far more interesting day had they chosen the gateway to east Cork for their nuptials and big bash. After ‘mass’ they could have visited the Jameson distillery, had their wedding photos taken at Monkey Island down in Fota, had a relaxing swim in Trabolgan and then gone for a spin around Cork’s glorious harbour.   

The excitement wouldn’t have had to end there either. Guest of honour at the wedding could have been legendary hurler and Midleton native John Fenton who scored the greatest hurling goal of all time in the Munster championship semi-final replay of 1987 against Limerick.

The Windsors are big fans of polo (basically hurling on a piebald) so one naturally assumes they are GAA fans too and we expect that they are well aware of Fenton’s sensational fifty-yard ground strike all those years ago – his last championship season.

Although his manner is quiet and gentle, John turns a fine phrase and there would be no better way to humour and entertain the newly weds by regaling them with tales of Cork hurling by employing the 1984 All-Ireland winning captain as the after-dinner speaker.

The legend could then pass the microphone to local sensations Crystal Swing who would provide musical entertainment all night long. William and Kate are said to be big fans of the east Cork trio and what romantic couple wouldn’t be overjoyed to have ‘She Drinks Tequilla’ played live as they step onto the floor for their first dance.

Now that’d be a proper Midleton wedding.