Puke Football: The Evidence

27th Aug 2009

Puke Football: The Evidence

Tyrone fans are a decent bunch. They were extremely gracious in defeat too but it doesn't shadow the fact that Ulster's brand of puke-football is in serious trouble as they were comprehensively defeated by Cork in Croke Park on Sunday.

The sobering up process began on Hill 16 soon after Daniel Goulding's superbly taken goal. No sooner had the ball hit the back of the net Tyrone fans started feeling unwell - the parasite of puke-football struggling to leave their hosts.


Goulding scores. Tyrone fans puke.	Hotdogs and lager.

Within minutes many Tyrone fans were vomiting uncontrollably on the terrace. Litres of puke poured its way down towards pitch level where Tyrone were being razzle dazzled by Cork's superior skill, speed and fitness.

With their heads spinning, bodies in cold sweats and belly's full of beer (and those manky over-priced hotdogs on sale on Clonliffe Road) Tyrone's fans appeared as weak minded as their players.

Five minutes after kick-off, all remained of Tyrone's hopes were pools of sick - some might say this was a fitting end for puke-football's biggest advocates but Cork were merely providing medicine for the sick patient.

As harsh as the Rebel medicine tastes it's like someone removing your beer goggles and the bleary-eyed perception that puke-football was a thing of beauty. It is not.

One day Tyrone will rise again and in the meantime their worries about Kerry taking their place as the dominant team of the decade will be dealt with. Very soon.