Rebels Roast Desperate Dubs

25th Apr 2011

Cork 0-21 Bernard Brogan 2-14

Is there anything more satisfying for a Corkonian than watching Dublin building themselves up before crashing down to earth. Again.

A superb performance at Croke Park on Sunday saw Cork footballers break an astonishing 74 year record. Since 1937 no team has put three titles back to back i.e. league, championship and league again.

Despite the loss of key players like Eoin Cadogan, John Miskella, Paul Kerrigan and Fintan Goold Cork still cruised past Dublin to take the league title for the second year in a row despite most pundits fancying Dublin.

Shieldsy: floats like a butterfly, stings like a dig in the face from a feen from Togher

Even the disgraceful behaviour of the Dubs as they harassed Cork’s glorious captain Michael Shields as he attempted to enter the tunnel at half time was pitiful. The full-back was hit with a vicious pre-meditated shoulder. A cowardly act that deserves nothing less than a life ban for the Dub.  

Like naive young antelopes provoking a hungry lion the scrum of dirty Dubs then found themselves under a barrage of defensive moves from the Togher talisman who, unknown to most Jackeens, has a wealth of boxing experience.  

The Dubs try to intimidate the Cork captain

Off camera it was reported that Shields deployed a number of ‘Togher Thumps’ – a unique martial art move developed in the Cork suburb. While appearing like a regular punch to the untrained eye it makes contact with the part of the brain that controls the bladder resulting in spontaneous urination in victims.  

This may explain why Dublin pissed themselves in the second half, embarrassingly losing yet another lead in front of tens of thousands of blue shirts in the terraces.  

Even the drone of the West Brits’ boo brigade failed to inspire the Dubs.  Ah well, at least they have the royal wedding to look forward to this week.