Resolutions for Corkonians

7th Jan 2009

Resolutions for Corkonians
Finbarr Barry

2009 is barely a week old so there's still loads of time to decide on some new year's resolutions. Here are some practical, tried and tested ways to increase the quality of the Cork blood flowing in your veins:

Keep your swearing Cork

Replace your swear words with Cork ones
The old noble resolution of cutting down on cursing usually wears off by mid-January when frustration the latest Cork GAA impasse reaches fever pitch or your tyres are tested by one of the county's pothole-cum-craters.

Instead of trying to suppress your colourful vocabulary with guilt free replacements why not just change them to Cork swearwords instead and be creative. See our online dictionary or visit The Shed at Turners Cross if you need assistance.

You been up yet?

Visit Shandon
Despite its iconic status a huge number of Corkonians have never actually visited St. Annes Church and its famous bells. Torturing local residents, tourists have been playing Three Blind Mice, Twinkle Little Star and other basic melodies for decades but not many natives have ascended the steps for a spectacular view of the Rebel city. Do it this year.

Sing De Banks Every Morning
Being the official National Anthem of County Cork we recommend that you and your flatmates, children or parents sing the full version of this every morning and evening before bed. It can also be quietly whispered in poem form before meals - particularly those that involve tripe, drisheen and black pudding from West Cork. This will increase your subconscious dedication to Cork.

Singing Cork songs in the car on the way to work

Go to Turners Cross
One of few places where genuine Cork pride and sporting passion collide the soccer club has the biggest home attendances of any Irish club. As a result Cork City FC naturally provides the best atmosphere with well organised supporters clubs and well coordinated singing, chanting and other entertaining devilment.

Oh and there's some decent soccer to be seen too so why not give it a bash when the season kicks off in March?
Lampy Cork City FC's site for match times

Learn Your Native Tongue
Even the most inattentive students coupled with the most boring teachers have sat through twelve or thirteen years of Irish classes so whether you feel it or not there's a huge dormant vocabulary deep in the brain that can be easily revived by cheap Irish classes.

With increasing numbers of speakers in Cork City the language is slowly but surely reviving itself despite the best efforts of those who think its dead to talk it down. Check out our Irish forum for info on classes and be ahead of the wave of younger Irish speakers that are emerging from Gaelscoils and the new oral-orientated curriculums in secondary schools. Check out classes here

A dirty weekend on Hare Island wit d'aul doll?

Do a Mini-Holiday in Cork
West Cork and parts of East Cork are more beautiful than anywhere in the world. On top of that the county has incrediblel islands like Sherkin, Cape Clear, Hare and Bear Island with spectacular secluded beaches and the cutest cosiest pubs you could imagine.

If you're into food there are a loads of little gourmet restaurants popping up all over the county - especially in places like Durrus, Bantry and Hare Island. Renting a cottage is dead easy online and prices, particularly in winter, are very negotiable. G'wan.
Cookery courses on Hare Island
Sherkins ugly but convenient hotel if you dont want to camp
Cape Clear's Storytelling Festival (Sept) with accomdation info
Bere Island Holiday Homes

Buy Cork
In tandem with trying to keep your cash output as local as possible why not try to keep your food intake as Cork as you can. Choosing a Cork farmer, baker or tea maker isn't very difficult if you stay alert whilst shopping - even seemingly cold giant corporations like Tesco flag Cork products like Barry's Tea in their stores and local producers who can't get their stuff into supermarkets are regularly seen at open air markets in Mahon Point, Blackpool and on Grand Parade.

Keep your drinking Cork. That's an order.

Drink Cork
With the closure of the South Main Street brewery it has suddenly become clear how important a love of the local black stuff is to the Cork economy. Besides the vastly superior quality and taste of beers brewed on Leeside (it's the water don't you know) changing your tipple for the local schtuff gives you bonus points for loyalty to the county. And in fairness, would any right thinking proper Corkonian swallow a mouth full of the Liffey with a straight face?

Learn an Instrument
Whether your idol is Rory Gallagher or Seán Ó Riada you're never too old to take up an instrument. Cork's live music scene has taken off since the novelty of in-pub DJs started to wear off at the start of the decade and it's a great time to get involved.

Treat your instrument the way you'd treat a lady.

Music shops and online forums like ours are brimming with expert musicians offering lessons in everything from the bodhrán and banjo to piano and ukulele. As soon as you're competent (a thorough knowledge of Rory's back catalogue or a plethora of obscure West Cork reels for example) you can bring the joy of Cork music to the world. Click here for teachers in Cork..

Read Cork Books
The shelves of local book shops are stacked with books about Cork. Knowing more about the Rebel County enhances living here especially as many of us regularly walk past places where ferocious battles for the country's independence took place without realising it.

Recent additions to the wealth of literature on Ireland's number one county include a monster biography of Jack Lynch by Dermot Keogh, GAA fans will love Michael Moynihan's book Blood Brothers on the Cork hurlers' eternal struggle with the County Board while Baptised in Blood is a look at the ferocious Cork Brigade of the Irish volunteers who led the fight against British occupation. Lamp our shop for more Cork books..

Keep it Cork for 2009.