Rosary For Canty's Hamstring

19th Aug 2010

The island's latest purveyors of 'puke football' take on the Rebels at Croke Park on Sunday at 3.30pm in what is sure to be an interesting tactical square off. Cork will of course play the game in its traditional sense with a mixture of hand passing, hard running, tough tackling and occasionally passing to opponents directly in front of their goal to keep them in the game.

Rosary for Graham Canty's hamstring to be said at the North Cathedral

Dublin have been making great strides since their apocalyptic humiliation by Meath earlier in the year. Their beating was so bad that many Dublin players were seen vomiting after the game such was the profound embarrassment. This was a Eureka moment for the Dublin management as they watched the streams of partially digested coddle pour into drains leading to the Grand Canal, Dublin's open sewer.

"Eureka! We know the answer! Puke foot-baw-well!", they cried.

A quick PR job to their players and fans rebranded the Ulster system to an even sicker form of the notoriously ugly 'puke football' formation.

Initially it was suggested that the system be dubbed 'Gawk Gaelic' however to keep it under wraps for as long as possible the Dublin camp simply referred to it as Y.A.B.B. or "Yiz All Behind the Ball".

Dublin fans have also been playing their part when their team have been defending Hill 16. Thousands of them can be seen blowing air (and occasionally vomit) in the direct of their team's opponents to help the 14 and a half man Dublin defence keep the opposition out.

Meanwhile a rosary is being said tonight at the North Cathedral for Graham Canty's hamstring. A close up picture of his upper leg will be handed out to attendees at the event who will be encouraged to sleep with the picture on Saturday night.

Canty's troublesome leg muscle was not available for comment but a source said it welcomed anything might help Cork win on Sunday.