Rugby Rebels Rob The Rock

26th Sep 2008

The Rock Takes to the Oval Ball
Danny Elbow

Cork All Star full back and triple All-Ireland hurling medallist Diarmuid 'The Rock' O'Sullivan has decided to offer Highfield rugby club his body for the foreseeable future. Thursday's Evening Echo reported that the Cloyne man lined out for Highfield's Junior one team against Cork Con at Templehill and acquitted himself well on the wing resulting in a standing ovation from spectators.

The Evening Echo on Thursday Sept. 25th

Thankfully there were no deaths reported after or during the game, although a number of Cork Con players are recovering from shock and moist underpants. Their conditions are described by doctors on the sideline as 'pissing themselves but stable'.

Sully has been playing down his involvement claiming he is merely staying in shape during the GAA closed season. Munster Branch officials are hugely concerned however at Sully's garb at a recent training session. The 30 year old full back wore his Gaelic Players Association clobber at a light training session earlier this week which has raised a few eyebrows on both sides of the GAA/Rugby divide.

Watch out rugger heads: you've been infiltrated by the GPA!!

Bullshit heard over a gin and ton-ton in the Cork Con clubhouse bar in Ballintemple suggest that there is serious concern that Sully's seemingly innocent attraction to rugby and Highfield might actually be a double-cross to soilk players from the oval ball code for the GAA.

The notorious players strike in January that saw both county football and hurling squads defeat the Cork Cunty Board over the appointment of football boss Teddy Holland to replace Billy Morgan.

O'Sullivan was central to negotiations and in the light of the county's defeat to Kilkenny, (with the Rock as Cork's best player) he may be concerned that the Rebels need to acquire some rugby heads for the 2009 season to bring a bit more beef to the hurlign squad.

Mass for O'Sullivan being said in Rathcormac earlier this week.

Although not a traditional GAA superpower, Bishopstown has produced a number of notable athletes over the years including hurler Pa Cronin, Carl Lewis, Mike Tyson, Gary Pallister, Bruce Lee and table tennis guru Cha Min Hapkido. Sully may be attempting to scout talent for the hurling and football squads from this sporting mad suburb.

Cork County Board officials have obviously been shitting bricks of rage (and there's nowhere to put them with the construction industry now extinct) as a high profile Cork hurler "defects to the Queen's game to promote Britishness and balls that aren't roundy" as one source told us, "it won't be long before our villages are patrolled by the British Army again and Corkonians are wearing excessively tight jeans, silly white rubber dollies and Morris dancing to Pete Doherty records in the streets".

One official from North Cork has asked for masses to be said for O'Sullivan to purge him of his sin - downgraded from 'mortal' to 'venial' after Pope John Paul 2 "left office" and Benedict (a Cork fan) took power.

As of yet Sully isn't pushing for Ronan O'Gara's place, not to mind Landy Hill's at Highfield, so let's keep the semtex, bagpipes and Toulouse jerseys under the bed for now.

Cork County Final takes place at Pairc Úi Chaoimh this Sunday September 28th at 2.30pm.
Intermediate: Valley Rovers Vs Bandon 2.30pm
Senior: Sarsfields Vs Bride Rovers 4pm

Cork Ladies Footballers take on Monaghan in the All Ireland final on Croke Park at 3pm. Coverage on TG4.