Simon Sez: Coveney Must Apologise

14th Jan 2013

Simon Coveney, a minister in the Dublin government passed a sneering remark upon this great county before Christmas, declaring that Cork people should “get over this real capital and People’s Republic mentality”.

We were so shocked we said we’d wait until the new year to make a comment – we didn’t want it to wreck our Christmas and we wanted to rule out the possibility that somebody was actually winding us up or that it was a different Simon Coveney not from Cork.
 

'Maybe shouldn't have said that'

The Minister’s remarks were grossly offensive to a huge number of Corkonians and one has to question now where Simon will go next with his anti-Cork sentiment:

Will he be supporting the Dubs for Sam Maguire 2013 and suggest that all Cork school children learn ‘Raglan Road’ instead of the ‘The Banks of My Own Lovely Lee’? Is he in favour of flying the cold blue Dublin flag over Cork City Hall? Should the Dublin Lord Mayor come down to Cork to give our school kids a half day instead of our own?

Coveney: more Heiners than Beamish

It’s still not too late for a public apology – but it’ll have to be sincere. We suggest the Minister stands on Patrick’s Bridge in a Cork jersey while drinking a pint of Beamish out of one hand and soloing a sliothar with a Ben O’Connor made hurley in the other while he sings his apology to the tune of the Boys of Fairhill in both English and Irish.

He can then genuflect while Sean Óg Ó hAilpín hears his confession and Roy Keane gives him a dressing down.

Yawk

If the Minister really wants to make it up to us he can nominate himself as the one who will lower the Irish tricolour on its final day of display after he convinces City Council to vote for its removal.