Space Station Banter with Cork Air Traffic Control Revealed

12th Aug 2014

On Sunday night the International Space Station crossed over the Rebel county at the mind-blowing speed of four miles per second - appearing over the western horizon below in Allihies soon after 10pm. As the crow flies it is almost exactly one hundred miles from Allihies to Youghal so travelling at four miles per second the six spacers on board had the distinct privilege of spending a full 25 seconds looking directly down on Cork. Surely, this must be the pinnacle of these astronauts’ and cosmonauts’ careers?

There are very few people who get to look down on Cork, both physically and metaphorically speaking and when they do it doesn’t last long. Within a short time we are looking down on them again – just ask Limerick’s hurlers.
 

Astronaut Stella Smyth looks longingly down at the County Hall and Lennox's. What she'd do for a batter burger and chips now (and strictly speaking she wouldnt even put on weight).

Just to be on the safe side People’s Republic of Cork Air Traffic Control also known as the PROC Space Cadets sent signals to the ISS giving permission for them to fly into Rebel airspace. As you would expect we also offered to buy them a few pints of Beamish if they fancied landing at Cork airport. Here’s how it happened:

PROC - “Cork ground control to ISS. Permission granted to enter airspace of the People's Republic even though we acknowledge there isn’t a lot of air at your altitude but c’mere as you’re in the area you might as well drop in for a pint and a chat. We’d love a lamp off the spaceship. Over.”

ISS - “Receiving you loud and clear PROC. Thank you for permission. We acknowledge your kind offer of hospitality but the landing charges at Cork Airport are ridiculous. Can you lower them please? Over.”

PROC - “ISS, this is PROC. Negative. The evil Dublin Airport Authority control this parameter and we are unable to lower it and as a result airlines won’t come to Cork. Over.”

ISS - “PROC, this is ISS. That’s absolutely scandalous. We are outraged here on board. Something needs to be done about that. Sorry, we can’t drop in, I heard they do a beautiful pint of Murphy’s in the airport bar. Over.”

 

The bveautiful view over Cork is often distracting for PROC air traffic controllers. That and access to the INTERNET.

PROC - “Super soz ISS, we’re working on a revolution and the airport is a prime target of the Togher Mujahideen – one of our most deadly battalions. Anyway that’s a shame you can’t drop in, good luck on your voyage. Oh and c’mere keep your headlights on when you’re passing over Youghal bubbila - just in case ye clip the clock tower, like. G’night. Out.”
 
ISS - “Thanks for the tip PROC. We’re passing over Waterford next and we always keep full lights on going over that place. You never know what that mad crowd might send our way. Good luck on Sunday against Tipp by the way. Over and out.”
 

And you just thought it was a water tower.

From our main control tower in Knocknaheeney (you always thought it was just a big water tank didn’t ya?!) we could see the lads on the space station flashing the lights as they passed over the city. As any Corkonian knows seeing another vehicle flash their lights either means “Hello!” or “Sketch! There’s a speed trap up ahead!” and we all knew which one it meant.