State Oil Company Announced

17th Oct 2013

The provisional government of the People's Republic of Cork has announced that all oil and gas resources found within the borders of the state of Cork will be kept in state ownership and all profits will be invested locally.

The company's media-shy chief executive Sheikh Finbarr 'Finty' Harrington-Beara O'Sullivan spoke off-the-record through the side of his mouth down the alley beside Yellow Cabs to a number of prominent Cork journalists yesterday during Cork Independence Day. 
 

Official Cork Oil Company t-shirt now available to buy online

"Our comprehensive plan is so cute-hoor that we estimate most of our sales will involve selling oil to the Arabs", said 84 year old who is currently building a harem made of black-pudding in his native Adgrigole. 

Drilling at the massive Barryroe oil well is already underway with scores of boats full of battery powered drills, snorkels and flasks of tae making their way to the site a few miles off shore.

Oil revenues from the company are likely to bring a massive cash bonanza to Leeside to fund major infastructure projects. 

"A Luas?! You must be jokin' me boy!", said O'Sullivan when asked about a light rail system for Cork, "that's only a load of bollocks. Sure with this kind of spondoolies we'll be giving everyone in Cork free flying cars."
 

Oil Do It My Way...this is how we roll, feens.