Stuff You're Allowed Do This Week

28th Sep 2013

1. Pouting
Bad moods, touchiness, abrasiveness, being overly-sensitive. The slightest thing will set you off this week. You know when you’re going over Christy Ring Bridge coming from the Northside and you want to go left past Larry Tompkins but some gowl in front of you wants to go right so you’re stuck there even though the left arrow is green? Lean on the horn good and loud. He’s doing nothing illegal but it’ll help you vent. Just. Let. It. All. Out.

2. Eating (Delicious) Manky Food
You may not have the taspy to go home and cook up for yourself. Pig out by ordering your favourite Chinese and don’t hesitate to have pizza for breakfast, burgers for lunch and double breast-in-bun for dinner.

3. Giving Out About The County Board or the Strikers
You're pouting and irrational so choose your scapegoat. Sure tiz all their fault isn’t it? If they weren’t such a pack of bloody langers and selfish so-and-so’s maybe we woulda won the All-Ireland….and sure [insert scapegoat] never hurled a decent match in their lives!!

Awww yeah...that’s it feen. Let it out of you like a slippery afterbirth.

4. Being Odd With Friends from Clare
Look lads, you’re a nice bunch and congratulations and all that stuff - but we just don’t want to see ye or hear ye this week even if ye are trying to be sporting and sound. Just giss the week to ourselves AHRRRIGHT?

5. Having a Schneaky Midweek Whisky
Know the one that’s one too many but know the one that’s one too few as well. At times like this alcohol can take the edge off a disappointment like this one*. If you find yourself at home on the phone to the buddy discussing puke-hurling…sorry sweeper systems…is ruining the game then a little nip from the hip flask may be in order.

A quiet one in a nice bar in town with a nice band with a couple of flahs in it might take the edge off the temporary self-loathing.