Sundays Well: Dog Shit Capital of Cork

17th May 2009

Dog Shit On Your Sneakers
Alan Ger

It's not a subject everyone is comfortable talking about but unfortunately its all around us here in Cork especially anywhere just outside the city centre marsh.

Strong images of Roy Keane marching around defiantly with his labrador after being sent home from Saipan by anti-Cork Irish soccer manager Mick McCarthy are no surprise. Corkonians love their dogs. Unfortunately many don't love cleaning up after them.

As an experiemt we started on Lavitt's Quay (here) and walked up to Sundays well..	A kerb crawler at the North Gate

There are certain areas in the city where dogs seem to take most satisfaction in plying their trade. In old historic areas like Sundays Well walkers, joggers and tourists on their way up to the old jail can often be seen hopping about on one leg trying to find something to pry dog poo from their shoes.

It maybe that dogs from less well-to-do areas further up on the hills of the Northside enjoy taking a stroll in the more upwardly mobile districts of the city - perhaps to find a mate. Descending from the higher altitudes above Sundays Well our fury friends, desperate to let their canine competitors know that they are in the area litter the footpaths with their 'calling cards'.

Heaps of dog shit on North Mall heading west	Centrally placed dump on hill up to Sundays Well just off North Mall

Any Sunday's Well hound who thinks he has only a few local muts to compete with will soon know that the 'boys from up the hill' are in the area looking for mates too.

Whatever the inter-canine politics and natural reasons for dogs messing up Cork's footpaths many people are sick of it. Pottering along the new Banks of the Lee walkway or any other public path just outside the city centre can turn into something akin to an obstacle race or a real life computer game as you attempt to avoid the relentless incoming piles of poo.

Some are neatly placed at the edge of the kerb waiting for disembarking car passengers. Others are plonked in the middle of the path destined to snare the common daydreamer or those who pay too much attention to their neighbours gaf. Starring up at Mrs. Murphy's newly installed fascia and soffits could be fatal!

Half way down Sundays Well there are a few randomly placed single 'units' like this	A few yards away from the photo on the left this mess was tactically dumped outside a gate. Skidmarks show somebody has already taken the first hit!

The proximity to the city centre can also drag in another unwanted risk of getting soil on your sneakers. Cork seagulls, well known for their sorties on passers-by from the lofty heights of telephone wires provide an additional distraction for pedestrians around the river.

Now with two fronts to keep watch over whilst defending your personal cleanliness things are getting a little tricker - a bit like moving up a level in Guitar Hero on the Playstation when you have to activate a part of the brain that has had its proverbial feet up all along.

Too much time spent monitoring the feathered fowl high up may land you splat in the middle of something far more unpleasant down below. Likewise, sweeping your eyeballs up and down the pavement without due care to the seagulls 'white bullets' raining down from above and you'll need have to abort your plans and head straight home for a good shower and shampoo.

Another few metres away lies a third set of stools	Further down the road a land mine of poo awaits a fresh clean sneaker

Struggle In A Puddle
Having spent half an hour trying to wedge the processed pedigree-chum from the grooves on the sole of your vile upturned shoe with a twig or waltzing around in a puddle so that passers-by think you're on day release from a institution that still has an electric-chair, you may finally pledge to tackle the next dog owner you see turning a blind eye to their beloveds outdoor toilet habits.

There's nothing more infuriating than watching a dog owner stand by while his or her pride-and-joy defecates a public path - especially in a built-up area where kids play. Owners' blindness to the faults of their pups often enrages those who aren't so enamoured with dogs.

But deciding to challenge somebody for allowing their mut to soil a path doesn't always work out the way you'd like it. The vision you had of confronting some complacent dozy young fella and his defecating Jack Russell may not be the stereotype you had in mind.

How can you possibly unleash years of pent up anger from scraping dog excrement from your brógs when the person you are faced with is a tiny shrivelled up old lady who can barely see out of one eye?

A carefully laid log outside the UCC sports ground possibly by the dog of a jealous CIT student...	Half an hour later on the way back into town we snapped this fresh set of skidmarks on North Mall!

In fact she probably doesn't have the required eye cells left to even tell if her dog is pooping or simply stopping to sniff some tiny piece of Cork in the weird way that dogs do. You just can't do it.

To many in later life dogs are a precious companion. An obedient and loyal friend. A source of happiness when friends and relatives have passed on.

An ideal world	Pooper scoopers come in many forms

Those who hate the sight of dog dirt on Cork's streets or those who lie awake at night driven mad by the insanity of an uncaring neighbour's dogs frantically barking for two hours at a stone that moved in the wind must bear this, often difficult to swallow, fact in mind.

Meanwhile those disrespectful Cork citizens without pooper scoopers who stand idly by while their dogs poop all over public walkways need to cop on and do their duty. We love our dogs here in Cork but it's time everyone took full responsibility for them and cleaned up after their precious pets. Woof! Woof!