Taximan Would Love a Drop of Rain

17th Jun 2014

A Cork taxi driver has broken ranks with public sentiment this week by declaring his hatred of the county’s current balmy weather. Connie ‘The Crank’ Lonegan, has been admitting to colleagues and passengers this week that he thinks “tiz too warrrum” and that he “would love a drop of rain” as the Rebel county basks in glorious sunshine.

The man in his sixties from the city’s southside has been driving a cab for nearly forty years and believes the current spell of sunshine is “a total disaster”.

Waiting in line for a fare on Patrick Street at lunchtime on Tuesday wearing a cardigan and woolly hat, Mr. Lonegan refused to roll down his windows to speak to our reporter, preferring instead to keep the engine running with his cab’s air conditioning on full and speaking to us by roaring and vigorously hand gesturing.  

“This is typical of that crowd up in Dublin”, he barked in a distinctly east-Mahon accent, “they knew this weather was coming, that’s why they installed water meters on us. If you want to cool down now you’ll be charged for it. All those pollytishuns should all be into the river and charged for the water that drowns them.”

He also feels that Cork people should avoid summer fashion despite temperatures hitting the mid-twenties on Leeside.

“And c’mere like, all these eegits going around in short sleeves and sunglasses! Where the hell do they think they are? The Mediterranean? Dressing for this kind of weather only encourages more of it.”

Several Cork taxi companies have distanced themselves from Mr. Lonegan’s remarks in line with the public mood as it appears most Corkonians are hoping Mother Nature keeps cranking the temperature up for as long as possible.