The Liquidation of Limerick

7th Nov 2006

The Liquidation of Limerick
Danny Elbow

"It is clear that the Irish government can no longer stand by and see innocent people injured or perhaps worse". These are the words of Cork man and Taoiseach Jack Lynch in 1969 after loyalist mobs and RUC B Specials attacked Catholic homes in Belfast sparking a mass exodus from the city.

The speech was controversial at the time - effectively a diplomatic threat to Northern Ireland's premier Terrence O'Neill, that the republic might consider an invasion of Northern Ireland if his government didn't move to protect its Catholics citizens.

Corkonians wouldn't feel any direct affiliation to Limerick's population but being the sympathetic loving race that we are, some heartfelt concern for the rising chaos in their city is in order. If the Irish Government cannot protect Limerick citizens like the 5 year old child shot there last weekend - Corkonians may be forced to take action to protect their Munster brethren*.

With such revolting violence just a few miles from Cork's borders what action should we take to prevent a possible spread into the People's Republic:

In the event of Corkonian invervention in the Limerick region PROC proposes to break the troubled county into two parts: a new county called West Tipperary and a North Kerry/West Limerick merger called something silly like 'Limkerry'. The majority of Limerick City's peacful northside will be moved inside the Clare border isolating all violent factions inside one county administrated from Rathkeale.

Outright Military Intervention
We like to use the word 'intervene' rather than 'invasion' when it comes to Limerick as the latter would imply some vested interest in the county or its resources. It has often been said that West Limerick and North Kerry should be made into one county such are the similarities in social bleakness and the break up of neighbouring counties is something Cork's neo-cons will consider to contain crime and lawlessness in Limerick city.

Kerry itself was once two entirely separate counties so we would only be physically implementing a psychological divide that still exists in most Kerry minds. Everything north of Faranfore (along the 52∞ 10' latitude) including the Dingle peninsula and dirty Dara ” S'