Top 10 Reasons an AI Final is the Job

13th Aug 2013

Cork hurlers are through to their first All-Ireland final in seven years. Here are our top ten reasons why this is absolutely daycint!

1. Decking Out The Gaf
We’ve got three and a half weeks to get the city and county caked in red and white: shop windows, bedroom windows, office windows, gateways, tall buildings, cars, vans and buses. These opportunities don’t come around that often so getting together with family and friends to plan how you’re going to support the team is great fun.  If you’d like your effort displayed on our website, take a photo and send it to the email address below.
 

Morley's on Daunt Square always make a huge effort

2. Boost for underage hurling
After the win against Kilkenny smallies could be seen out all over the city with their hurleys emulating their Rebel heroes. Children all over the county are wearing their Cork jerseys and dreaming about being a hero for Cork themselves – many of them aren’t old enough to remember major hurling victories in Croke Park.

Getting to an All-Ireland final is the GAA equivalent of a ‘Fight for Uncle Sam’ campaign – the recent big wins and the pre-match hype will swell our underage ranks will be full of highly motivated Cork boys and Cork girls – all gunning to fight future hurling and football wars.

If only willing All-Ireland greats were employed to coach them.
 

Rebelettes in the making

3. Pride in Cork
In an era where what’s best for the economy often appears to take precedent over what is best for society, the rise of individualism is unrelenting - even though almost all humans crave being part of a group or tribe. Occasions like an All-Ireland final drive us together and bind Cork people together rather under one banner. As unconnected as it sounds even littering improves around All-Ireland final time when Cork pride is at it’s peak.
 

Hill 16 Takeover

4. We Needed a Hero

In tough times every group needs a strong leader they admire. Corkonians who had already seen Jimmy Barry Murphy as a real and genuine hero now believe it even more. Getting the team unexpectedly to an All-Ireland final has given Cork people a lift because for so long the hurling scene appeared bereft of genuine superheroes - crowded instead with depressing administrative politicking.  

5. Samba Hurling
Watching this Cork team play is a joy. While their greatness is undisputed the in-your-face style played by Kilkenny that relied heavily on physicality and manic intensity in breaking-ball scrums the beautiful samba hurling played by Cork is bordering on erotic in our eyes. Conor Lehane’s tap-down point against Dublin last week epitomised the orgasmic skill on display this season from the Rebels.  
 

Cork fans get behind their team

6. Pre-Final Banter
There are plenty of Clare and Limerick people living in Cork although many of them could be seen as asylum seekers (who could blame them wanting a better life here in the deep south). Proper fans from both those counties are always up for the light-hearted slagging and ballhopping in pubs, offices and factories that are always an enjoyable part of the big-match build up. We love it!

7. The Homecoming
These things are like mass for the Cork religion except the congregation is counted in tens of thousands and the audience act more like a crazy all-singing all-dancing flag waving Baptist church. Plus, instead of the regular parish priest it is Pope Jimmy proclaiming on the altar.

The collective tribal get-together in the city centre is one of the most special moments that any person of any tribe could ever witness.  
 

Real mass

8. Winter Telly
Now that we’ve won a semi-final we have four weeks to enjoy the absolute hell out of it. That’s a whole month of reminding ourselves of how great we are so make sure you flah it!

If we win the final however, we can feed off the euphoria all the way to next summer and there’s nothing better than sitting down on Christmas night watching re-runs of the championship without your heart pounding like a machine gun and having to bury your face in your programme when you see a dodgy short pass.  

9. Catching the Cats
Owing to their superiority over the last few years Kilkenny have slipped ahead on the Liam McCarthy roll of honour (34 Vs 30). Now that we are in an All-Ireland final we could narrow the gap to three this year by winning the hurling championship for the 31^st time. It would also create a tidy gap of five with third-place Tipperary.
 

Liam McCarthy? She won't be taking no for an answer.

10. Authenticity
It has thankfully given us a break for the summer but the multi-billion euro Premiership mega-hype machine is about to kick into gear: lauding overpaid pre-Madonnas  as ‘heroes’ even though they would ditch their club’s jersey if they thought they could get a few bob extra playing for a different multi-million pound corporation.

We all love a bit of soccer but 15 Corkonians with Cork accents lining out in Cork jerseys for no pay is indisputably authentic . The way players like Shane O’Neill play for Cork would have most of us convinced he would actually die for the jersey.