Voting Nemo

3rd Mar 2009

Voting Nemo
Finbarr Barry

Nemo shoppers celebrate the vote against the County Board

The sport of shopping may finally be recognised by the GAA in Cork after Monday night's vote against the County Board at Nemo Rangers GAA club.

The powerful Turners Cross organisation that has represented Cork numerous times in the All-Ireland club championship (bagging the title in 2003) was temporarily invaded by displaced "shoppers" who may have lost their way en route to Douglas.

The 'shoppers' tag was initially used by Cork hurling coach Gerald McCarthy who dismissed the 10,000 strong crowd who marched in support of the 2008 hurlers as mainly "shoppers".

Allegedly laden with bags from Douglas Court and the new greyish structure of Douglas Shopping Centre the all-consuming cult made their way up the south Douglas Road after an early week spending spree.

Raonaithe Nemo: as if two shopping centres in the Douglas area wasn't enough.

Many were anxious to try on their new purchases and Nemo's dressing rooms offered the perfect fashion test lab. What a coincidence that one of the most important meetings in the club's history happened to be taking place as the clink of girly high heels tottered across the car park and into the club house.

Just as the no confidence motion in Gerald MacCarthy was about to be put to members it is believed that the shoppers burst into the meeting room where almost two hundred Nemonians were just nanoseconds from casting their votes.

Desperately embarrassed at their untimely interruption the shoppers tip toed back out of the room, each signalling their silent mortification to the top table by raising an apologetic hand.

Due to an unusual technicality (and we're well used to those rule book anomalies in Cork GAA at this stage) Nemo officials who were mid-tally were obliged to take the shoppers' votes into account because they were in the room at the time. When results were finalised it appeared that an overwhelming number of members had sided with the gate-crashing shoppers.

Cork ladies kit for 2009 now on sale at Cummins Sports, North Maina

Minutes after the sensational double rejection of the Cork County Board's handling of the GAA crisis on Leeside and unanimous thumbs down to Gerald McCarthy's continued tenure as coach it is believed that many of those in the room were seen entering one of Douglas's main shopping centres - possibly to purchase Munster or premiership jerseys.

Interestingly, at the former county champions' meeting, Cork and Nemo football Godfather Billy Morgan had revealed to members that despite the Cork County Board's claim that an out of contract Cork coach has first dibs on retaining his position for the following season King Billy was not offered this trump card in late 2007.

This eventually led to the now infamous Holland-gate debacle in which the independent arbitrator ruled against the County Board executive.

This claim is quite remarkable as it has been suggested that the reason Gerald MacCarthy was reappointed this year is that he had first refusal - thereby making the selection committee set up by Kieran Mulvey irrelevant. So 'shoppers' everywhere now need to know where and when the rule was introduced and by whom.

Should other clubs join the Nemo shoppers in siding with the 2008 players then the GAA may find themselves under pressure in other counties as spendthrift shoppers take over penny-pinching clubs and county boards all over Ireland.

Disney named their famous fish after the Cork football club

Chip vans and tuck shops could be replaced by high end fashion boutiques and pricey hair dressers. Meanwhile touts and flag sellers outside Semple and Croker may battle for space with staff from clothing outlets, electrical retailers and car salesmen as shoppers pour into town for matches.

Tanning salons could also make a killing from the money mad GAA fans. Football and hurling supporters, especially those from further up the country where sunshine is less frequent are whiter than washed out polar bears and a few rays of sunshine for both players and punters alike would, at the very least, take away some of the glare and allow us to squint a little less when trying to watch a match.

Those bán white legs in tight shorts with more hair than a woolly mammoth do little for the sports stars' sex appeal (why do you think the Ó hAilpín's are so popular?) but, in fairness, with such dedication to their sport players don't have the luxury of jetting off to Australia or some other sun soaked destination mid-season. So the sun bed salons might be the way to go.


Who knows what other scary motions might be passed if the shoppers finally take over Cork GAA? The chaos on match day at Pairc Úi Chaoimh is bad enough without fans insisting on paying by laser and credit card.

The frightening advance of the Cork GAA 'shopper' continues this Sunday at 1.30pm at Kennedy Park on the Blackrock Road where Rebels will gather en masse and proceed to Pairc Úi Chaoimh to support the Cork footballers against Fermanagh.

The entry price is €15. Pittance to well experienced shoppers like us!

The vote against Gerald MacCarthy was passed by 185 votes to NIL. The vote in support of county board delegates having to report back to clubs on major issues was passed by 165 to 17.