Waterford Team Orthodontist Resigns

15th Aug 2006

Waterford Team Orthodontist Resigns
Danny Elbow

Shanahan: player of the mouth...sorry 'month' apparently.

Waterford's losing half forward was in the Irish State Capital this week collecting his consolation prize - Hurler of the Month - after his county's arse whipping by the Rebels on the August bank holiday weekend.

It may come as a surprise to Corkonians that the Shanahan who was invisible in Croke Park against Cork would be nominated when he was kept to a single point from play by Sean Og O'hAilpin but the Deise "star" scored 1-5 against Tipperary in the quarter final so apparently that qualifies him for the award.

Waterford hurlers are known for their incredibly unique teeth - Ken McGrath and Shanahan among the more the most exotic in the game and over the last five years Bainisteoir Justin McCarthy has employed specialists to try to minimize the

The astounding power of evolution: The Blaa fits neatly on the lower teeth while the canines go to work on it directly.

effect his team's mouths have on their progress.

It is believed that the type of teeth evolved by Waterford's players helps them to chew their blaas and chicken suppers more efficiently. The move by well-meaning Bainisteoir Justin McCarthy was to discourage the intake of such obnoxious food stuffs and improve their eye-hand coordination.

Despite the tireless work of Waterford's top orthodontist and a bruising defeat to Cork, Dan Shanahan's mouth leaked again at the awards press conference:

" Se·n ”g was up on my back most of the time, playing me rather than the ball, but that's the way the tricks go. He did his job."

Waterford focus on their line out jumping which may be where they went wrong this year.

Despite the incorrectness of Shanahan's statement his mouth continued to emit sounds that could only be described as bitter tasting drivel.

Shanahan must now be awarded an additional prize entitled "Hypocrite of the Month" to sit next to his Hurler of the Month prize when he stated that the new love of our lives 19-year-old Cathal Naughton from Newtownshandrum should have been given a traditional Waterford welcome:

"When Cathal Naughton came on the first thing anyone should have done was hit him a dig into the ribs or something"

Beautiful - just the type of thing you'd expect from a mouth like that. That's what the up-and-coming ones in Waterford really want to hear: if you can't out-hurl them start fighting.

Oh what's that I hear? The sound of an All Ireland medal clinking around Mr. Naughton's neck? Cheer up Dan at least you can get back to the blaas now.