Welcome to Unitville

25th Aug 2006

Welcome to Unitville
The Bauld Thady Driscoll

You may think it's a new psychiatric hospital, one of Mc Dowell's new prisons or an unwelcome donation from a former Soviet republic but believe it or not this object represents Irish architecture in the year of our Lord 2006.

Built, not as a place in which to lock away the mentally deficient or murderers awaiting trial, one of these objects pictured below will shelter third level students whose old pair will dish out EUR 428 per month for an en-suite bedroom.

The North Infirmary is back - bring your own sick bag.

Property developers and auctioneers are an honest bunch. Seriously, they are much more at ease with words like 'unit' these days, rather than fooling you into believing that you'll be living in anything that could be described as a 'house' or 'apartment'....or even a 'flat'.

We don't live in gaffs anymore we live in units and work in cubicles. Does anyone give a toss?

Despite its dastardly grim unit-esque appearance you might be surprised to learn that Victoria Mills, the North Infirmary look alike, is already full for the coming academic year.

"Our student accommodation is of superior architectural design"- www.victoriamills.ie

Besides the unavoidable reminder of the pre-Celtic Tiger era, Charlie Haughey, unemployment, general bleakness, emigration, health cuts and Miley Byrne committing unforgivable adultery on Glenroe these rectangular boxes boast one outstanding futuristic feature: broadband connections in each bedroom. Woooo!

Students have all the broadband they want in college - why would they need it at home too?

It looked better with the scaffolding up.

Well, developers can take advantage of Section 50 tax relief once the accommodation is leased to students of a nearby college for a minimum of 10 years. Who wouldn't put money on the sudden change of use of these monstrosities to lucrative 'office and retail' in 2016? Every room....sorry office....would already have a broadband connection already installed. How convenient!

Developers are wrecking our beloved city with their depressing stacks of units. Somebody please stop them.