Zero Craic At 2022 Stryker Christmas Party

20th Dec 2022

Reports suggest that there was a disappointing lack of “sca” at the Stryker Christmas party this year after 20 staff members were suspended following the Cork company’s last big bash in 2019.

 The unofficial knees-up which took place at a secret location in Cork was said to have “had less crack than a skinny builder’s bottom” as employees sat around nervously clutching glasses of minerals which they hoped hadn’t been spiked.

  “Nobody even went to the jacks just in case HR were watching,” said one individual who has been with the company for more than 5 years, “and I didn’t see anyone having a sneaky yoke.”. 

 It is believed a group representing employees turned down an offer from Hollywood to turn their 2019 party into a movie.

The makers of The Wolf of Wall Street, which starred Leonardo Di Caprio and Martin Scorsese, are said to have offered employees a substantial amount of cash and a staff party in Las Vegas in exchange for the right to turn the notorious bash into a blockbuster.

Unconfirmed reports suggest the Model Farm Road based company received over 30,000 CVs after details, including videos, from the 2019 party went viral on social media.